I'm Not Letting You Go
by robertskycard
Summary: We don't usually comprehend the extent of the consequences of our actions under duress. Not until they knock on the door. An exploration of unintended consequences, missing gaps, guilt, and redemption. Rated M for graphic violence, language, and scenes of a sexual nature. Named such after a specific line of dialogue in Left Behind. Updates on Fridays.
1. Chapter 1: Abandonment

**Author's Note:**

**First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this. The reason I began writing this story to begin with was because, after Left Behind came out, I noticed a lack of ElliexRiley fanfiction and I started trying to rectify that. However, my obsessive writing began to expand, as I started filling in gaps from not just Left Behind, but from The Last of Us proper, and soon enough I had a full-blown story on my hands. **

**Let me preface this fanfic by saying that if you are uncomfortable with the exploration of teenage sexuality, then you might want to skip a chapter or so. With this in mind, sit back, relax, and read to your heart's content.**

* * *

Chapter 1: Abandonment

"Riley?"

Ellie lightly knocked on the door of Riley's room. Days before, Ellie had realized she had a crush on her best friend. Ten minutes ago, she was just on the brink of confessing her feelings toward Riley when the older girl shoved her food aside and trudged away, saying something about needing space to 'figure stuff out'. Ellie followed her, concerned. This wasn't like Riley, at all. As she stood, leaning against the wall, pondering why Riley's behavior was so strange, she heard feet stomping and then the door tore open. Riley stood, her face contorted into a scowl.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

Riley glared at her, "I'm fine," she said curtly before moving to slam the door in Ellie's face. Ellie placed her hand on the door, stopping it from closing.

"Wait."

Riley's brow formed into knot of anger, but she didn't close the door.

"You stormed out of the mess hall before I could say anything. I wanted to check in on you."

"Well, you've checked in, now. Happy?"

Ellie sighed. Moment of truth, "Riley, I want to tell you -"

"Why are you always following me around?"

Ellie was taken aback, "What?"

"I told you I needed some space, so why are you following me around? Don't you have anything better to do? You're like a goddamn puppy!"

"I-"

"Just leave me alone. Quit being so goddamn needy!"

"But -"

"Fuck off, Ellie!"

The door slammed shut. Ellie tried to bite back tears. When she realized she couldn't do it, she bolted to her room. Slamming the door shut, she jumped onto her bed and curled into a ball, tears flowing freely as she sobbed. Riley had rejected not only her but their entire friendship up to that point. Little did she know, a few doors down, Riley was doing and thinking the same thing while packing her belongings into her backpack.

* * *

Ellie awoke with a start. She thought she heard footsteps last night, light, sneaky steps instead of the usual thuds of the soldiers' boots. She slowly placed her bare feet on the ground before standing. She dressed and then made her way to the mess hall for breakfast. She took her rations and sat down across from Tino and the guys, leaving a space for Riley like she always did, hoping that Riley would sit by her, apologize, and the two could go on being friends again. She couldn't help but notice that, as she ate, Riley's gang of friends stayed unusually quiet this morning. She looked over her shoulder to the entrance to the mess hall when she heard the door open. It was just another kid walking in. She turned back to Tino. They ate in silence for a while, and every time the door would open Ellie would look over and see another kid. None of them were Riley. She finally spoke.

"Where's Riley?"

Tino had a forkful of food halfway to his mouth when he came to a dead stop, "I don't know, why?" he said before putting the fork in his mouth.

"She hasn't come in for breakfast."

"Maybe she's sick."

"She was fine last night," Ellie said. That was a lie. She may have been healthy, but she wasn't anywhere near 'fine'. 'Hostile' was a more appropriate term.

"Look, maybe she's just staying in today," Tino offered as he continued to focus on his tray of food. Ellie knew he was lying. He knew. He had to know. She reached over and pulled his tray from his grasp, "Hey, what the fuck is that for?" he sputtered.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know!"

"Bullshit!"

"Look, I don't know where she is, so why are you asking me?!"

Ellie angrily shoved the tray back at him before standing up and heading off to Riley's room. She pounded on the door.

"Riley, you in there?"

Nothing. She knocked again, harder.

"Riley?!"

The door swung open with the force of her knocks. Riley's bed was made, but all of her belongings were gone. Ellie sped back to the mess hall and then the hallways, calling Riley's name. She searched high and low throughout the building, her voice getting raw as she kept shouting. She couldn't find her anywhere. She finally returned to the mess hall and grabbed Tino by the shirt.

"Where is she?!"

"I don't know! She just fucking disappeared, that's all I know, I promise!"

She let him go and fled, back to her room. She slammed the door shut and began to throw her possessions around angrily, "Goddammit, Riley, we were good! What the fuck happened? Why did yell at me? Why did you go?!"

She yanked their picture off the wall and was about to tear it in two when she stopped suddenly, looking at the picture. It was her. And Riley. Smiling. Happy. Together. How it should be. How it should have remained. She sat down on the bed, clutching it in shaky hands. She held it close. She stroked it with a finger and then replaced it on the wall where it belonged. She felt tears begin to stream down her face, but she angrily wiped them away. Riley was barely gone, yet Ellie already missed her. But it was going to be okay, Ellie thought. Riley would come back, and then Ellie would tell her how she felt about her. That Ellie cared about her as more than just a friend.

* * *

Days turned into weeks. Ellie was sure that Riley would have come back by now. Every morning, she talked to Tino and his friends, asking if they'd seen Riley or knew anything. They always said the same thing, "I'm sorry, Ellie. I haven't seen her. I think she's gone for good," Eventually, Ellie conceded that perhaps they were right. If Riley was dead, infected, or just away, Ellie wouldn't ever have the chance to tell her just how much she cared.

Riley was gone. Permanently. And nothing Ellie could do would ever change that. She began to drift from her friends, and eventually she sat alone in the corner of the mess hall, like she always did before she'd met Riley. Every night, she couldn't sleep, knowing that Riley's end would most likely be grisly.

One Thursday evening, she couldn't sleep, so she snuck out to meet with Winston or, more precisely, Princess. When she got to the mall, she found him in his tent, flipping through a magazine, paying no attention to the surrounding world. He appeared to be slowly drifting off to sleep. She walked away quietly and went to the makeshift stables where Princess was kept.

"Hey, Princess," she muttered, patting the horse's neck. It was stupid, she thought, stupid that her only friends left were an old drunk of a soldier and a horse. It wasn't so bad, actually. At least the horse would listen. She began to tell Princess the whole story, about how she'd met the Fireflies with Riley, about how the two had struck up a friendship after that, about how she started having feelings for her friend, and that her friend had recently disappeared without saying goodbye. Ellie began to cry, sobs wracking her frame, all the pent up emotion from the past month just pouring out of her eyes. She leaned onto the horse for support and her tears mingled with the stiff hair on its side. After the tears finally stopped, Ellie stood and wiped her nose.

"Sorry. I just had to let it all out."

Princess snorted in response, as if to say, "It's alright," Ellie smiled a little and finished cleaning her face with her sleeve. She made her way back to Winston's tent and found him, writing furiously into an empty book, "You fucking asshole," he muttered to himself.

"Hey, Winston."

Winston jumped, startled, "Holy -! What the hell are you doing here at this time of night? Don't you know what time it is?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with Princess."

"It's eleven thirty! Go back to school, it's past curfew!"

"I can pay you, if you want."

"This isn't about payment, goddammit. You're gonna get yourself into trouble and I don't want that hanging over my head. You want to pay me? Then get back to school before they find out you're gone."

"Glad to see you care, Winston," Ellie snorted before stalking off.

She heard him mutter, "Goddammit, you did it again," as she left. She didn't know what he was talking about. She didn't care.

A week later, Winston died and the military took Princess away. Ellie was alone.

* * *

Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, wearing her striped tank top and her sleeping shorts. She lay down on the bed, reaching under her pillow, touching her mother's switchblade. It gave her comfort most nights, but not tonight. She tossed and turned. Rain pattered outside, drops making shadowy lines against the wall as they cascaded down her window. She closed her eyes. A thought popped into her head, one that chilled her blood.

Riley might have been infected. Ellie tried to push the thought away. Riley was too smart to get bitten. Too tough. Too everything. But even though Ellie tried to convince herself that Riley would be fine, she kept imagining Riley, sprouting fungus, bleeding from her facial orifices, snarling and snapping, coming after her. She couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't stop thinking of an infected Riley, storming into her room, rushing her, hot breath and teeth at her neck, biting through flesh. It felt real.

Too real.

"GAAH!"

Ellie shoved the infected creature off of her and drew her switchblade, ready to kill it. But then, the infected started laughing. She wasn't infected at all.

"Riley?!"

* * *

**And that's it for Chapter 1. Thank you for reading and I shall see you next time with Chapter 2.**

**robertskycard**


	2. Chapter 2: Last Moments

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter contains material of a sexual nature involving teenagers under the age of eighteen. If you are not very comfortable with this, please skip this chapter. You may not understand future chapters without this, however.**

**Viewer discretion has been advised**.

* * *

Chapter 2: Last Moments

One bite. One bite was all it took. Ellie kept silent, clutching her knees, staring at the blood stained floor of Liberty Gardens. She barely felt the pain in her bite wound. Everything felt numb. It was odd. _Their_ blood and saliva was just the same as hers, yet there was all the difference in the world.

Ellie had finally been honest with herself. She'd kissed her best friend, who wanted to be with her, who threw her Firefly pendant on the ground, choosing to stay. Ellie had been thrilled. Potentially a whole life awaited her with Riley, the one person she ever truly cared about. And now she only had up to two days, at most before the bites set in and they were both consumed.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair! Why did this have to happen? Why did they have to get bitten? Why today? Of all the days they'd ever come here, why did it have to be the day she kissed her best friend?

The events of the past few hours replayed in her mind, over and over, snippets here and there jumping out at her.

_"Come on. When have we ever gotten into trouble?"_

_"You still saving up for that vacation?"_

_"Ellie, really? Fucking roar!"_

_"Brick-fucking- MASTER!"_

_"Why did you lash out at me?"_

_"What did the triangle say to the circle?"_

_"Fuck you! You found another pun book?!"_

_"The photobooth's on! Ellie, we're so doing this!"_

_"You want to keep exploring?"_

_"You are playing as the unstoppable, yet drop dead gorgeous, Angel Knives."_

_"I argued with them to stay here."_

_"Why did you bring me here?"_

_"You want my advice? Go. Come on, let's just say our goodbyes."_

_"You're about to get drenched."_

_"I said it like an asshole, but I totally meant it. You should go. I mean, this is something that you've wanted for…you know… forever, so…who am I to stop you?"_

_"The one person that can."_

_"You really will be miserable without me."_

_"Don't go."_

_"What do we do now?"_

_"We'll figure it out."_

_"Riley!"_

_"Ellie…Ellie, your arm."_

_"What are we gonna do?"_

_"Let's just wait it out. You know, we can be all poetic and just lose our minds together."_

_"What's option three?"_

_"Sorry."_

"Ellie?"

The last one was real. Ellie snapped back to reality. Riley's hand was extended down toward her. She took it and stood up. Neither said a word as they climbed the scaffolding, exited the window, and sat down again on the rooftop, both looking at the sun as it rose.

Riley finally spoke, "I wish I'd watched these more often."

Ellie nodded. Riley's hand found hers. The touch was warm and comforting. Their fingers interlaced. Ellie put her head on Riley's shoulder.

"You said we'd figure it out," Ellie mumbled before looking at Riley, "Can we still talk about it? I know it won't happen, but still..."

Riley looked back at Ellie. Their eyes found each other. Riley suddenly broke eye contact and stared at her feet.

"I don't know what I would have done. I'm still not sure."

Ellie frowned, "I wanted to leave this stupid quarantine zone. Just find somewhere, out there, that's quiet. All by ourselves."

"Where?"

"Maybe somewhere where there are trees and mountains. Maybe the beach in L.A. I don't really know. Just that it's quiet and away from the cities."

"I guess it would have been nice," Riley sighed as she looked at Ellie. Their eyes met, both girls leaned in, and they kissed. It felt just as right it had in the mall.

"We should go to the Fireflies," Riley said after they broke the kiss.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, but I think that we should at least go to that part of town. I don't want the soldiers to find us. You know what happens then."

Ellie thought it over. The Fireflies might help, but they might just shoot them on sight. But it was that, or receive an injection from the military.

"Alright. We'll go to the Fireflies. But I want to spend some time, just us, before we go."

Riley smiled, "What did you have in mind?"

Ellie answered by wrapping her arms around Riley's neck and kissing her, pouring all her emotion and passion from the past few hours into that one kiss. Riley started kissing back with a vengeance. Ellie didn't know whose hands started moving first, but soon both she and Riley were all over each other, grasping with need and desire. She was suddenly aware of Riley's hands, slowly lifting her shirt up.

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"I think we should find some place a little more private."

Riley's grin was almost predatory. It made Ellie's heart soar.

* * *

They returned to the mall, collected their things, and cleaned the blood off themselves, after which, they made their way to an abandoned mattress store. Ellie set down her pack just before Riley roughly seized her by the shoulders.

"Riley, what are you-"

Riley shoved her back. Ellie fell back onto the closest mattress, quickly followed by Riley, who straddled her and began kissing her in earnest. Ellie lost herself in Riley's smell, her taste, and her loving caresses. She felt Riley's hands exploring her sides, her arms, her hips, her thighs, and she felt her heart pounding in her chest. Ellie clutched at her back as Riley's tongue touched her lips, asking for permission. Ellie opened her mouth and touched Riley's lips with her tongue as an answer. They deepened the kiss, tongues wrestling for dominance. Suddenly, Riley broke away.

"What? What is it?" Ellie panted.

"I…" Riley paused, her expression unsure, "I don't know what we're doing. I've never done anything like this before."

"Didn't you say we'd figure it out?"

Riley chuckled, "Yeah, I guess I did," her expression softened, "Do you think we should… get undressed?"

Ellie grabbed Riley by the shirt and pulled her back down on top of her, "I want to spend my last days with you, Riley, and I don't care how we do it. Whatever this means, I want to stay with you. Let's do what feels right."

And with that, Ellie drew Riley into another passionate kiss before placing her hands on Riley's shoulders and pushing Riley's outer shirt down her shoulders and back. She grabbed a hold of the denim as it fell from Riley and tossed it aside. Riley's hands grasped at her sides, pulling them closer together. One of Riley's hands went up to Ellie's shoulder and brushed down her collar bone, her chest, her stomach until it found the button on Ellie's jeans. It deftly popped the button open, slid the zipper down, and then slipped down the front of Ellie's shorts.

Ellie arched her neck and her back, gasping loudly as Riley's fingers found their mark. Riley's mouth moved from Ellie's lips to her cheek, her jawbone, her neck, and then to Ellie's collarbone, delicately kissing and sucking as her fingers continued to explore between Ellie's legs.

"Holy shit!" Ellie groaned as Riley's thumb pressed down in just the right way and two fingers slid inside.

Riley looked up at her with concern, "What?" she began to withdraw her hand.

Ellie grabbed Riley's wrist, the implied message understood. Riley resumed her ministrations. Her fingers curled and found another sensitive spot within. Ellie slowly began to roll her hips, wanting more pressure and friction, which Riley gave. The thumb pressed down harder, eliciting a cry of pleasure as the fingers massaged her inner walls. She was building up to something, something she didn't quite understand, but something she knew that if she didn't get to, she'd die.

"Holy hell, Riley, that feels good," she moaned as she arched her back again, "Faster."

Pressure built up inside her, slowly, until it seemed everything was going to explode. Riley's hand began to move faster and faster.

"Don't stop," Ellie thrashed her head back and forth. The dam was beginning to break. Everything from the past few minutes had been leading up to this moment.

Ellie was hit with an explosion of sensation radiating from where Riley's hand was moving. She called Riley's name, clutched her back, and rode the wave that swept her away from reality for a few moments. There were no infected, no Fireflies, and no soldiers. Nothing. Nothing except Riley, panting above her, hot breath and lips at her neck, her cheeks, and her mouth, fingers stilled inside her.

After a few moments of rest, Ellie came down from her high and saw Riley smiling, "What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"What is it?"

"Well… that was totally hot."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious."

Ellie smiled.

"So, how was it?"

"It was…" Ellie couldn't find a word for what had just transpired. Amazing, wonderful, and fantastic seemed insignificant to what she had felt when Riley's fingers had explored her, fingers that were still within her, "I really liked it."

"Oh, I could tell."

When Riley removed her hand from Ellie, she immediately missed its presence. Riley brought the fingers up so they both could see. They glistened with moisture. Riley wiped her hand on the mattress before lying down beside Ellie.

"Did you ever do anything like that with yourself?" Riley asked as she turned and propped herself on her elbow.

"No," Ellie answered honestly, "I've looked down there in the shower, but I've never…" she trailed off, a question suddenly present in her mind, "How did you know? I mean… it seemed like you knew what you were doing."

Riley smirked a little, "Well, I've had a little practice. I've done it to myself for a while now. I just thought maybe you'd like it."

Ellie wondered for a moment before facing Riley, mimicking her position, "Well, what did you think about?"

Riley grinned, "You. And what we'd do."

Ellie's heart began to pound at the thought of Riley alone on her bed, hand between her legs, whispering Ellie's name in the darkness, "Oh. What would we be doing?"

"Kissing, cuddling, and other stuff."

"Like what?"

Riley considered Ellie's question, "Have you ever heard of 'going down' on someone?"

"No, what's that?"

Riley's grin was devious, "How about I show you?"

Ellie couldn't help but flash a curious smile, "Okay, so what do I need to do?"

"Just lie back and enjoy. Oh, and if you take off your pants, that would help, otherwise I can't do it."

Ellie was suddenly nervous. Riley sensed it, "What's wrong?"

"I've never taken my pants off in front of anyone before."

Riley moved close and kissed her lightly on the lips, "If it'll help, I'll take of mine."

Ellie smiled at the proposal, "Okay," she turned face up, grabbed her jeans, shorts, and underwear at her hips, and pushed them down, seeing Riley doing the same in her peripheral vision. When her garments got to her ankles, Ellie kicked them off the mattress and lay back. Riley returned to her.

Before Ellie could ask what 'going down' was, Riley was on top of her, tongue swirling in her mouth, hand snaking under her shirt, brushing against her nipple, causing electric shocks. Ellie felt the smooth, soft flesh of Riley's thighs as they brushed against hers. Ellie's hand instinctively reached down and gripped Riley's bare hip, pulling her closer. Riley groaned into her mouth, a deep, lusty guttural sound.

"Do that again, and you'll never find out what 'going down' is."

Ellie whimpered, craving Riley's touch, but released her. Riley's lips and tongue left her mouth and began to move down Ellie's body, stopping at her collarbone before skipping all the way to her thighs. Ellie had some idea where this was going as Riley settled herself between Ellie's legs, placed her shoulders under Ellie's thighs, and slowly kissed her way toward the juncture of her thighs. She stopped just short of it, hot breath making Ellie shiver with anticipation.

Riley looked up at her, "You ready?"

Ellie couldn't speak and only nodded enthusiastically. As Riley's lips descended on her, Ellie arched her back, pleasure shooting through her, "Oh God, Riley, that's so good," Ellie moaned, grabbing Riley by the head and pushing her hips against Riley's face. She felt Riley's tongue flick across the sensitive nub and she closed her eyes tightly, letting the waves wash over her. The tongue thoroughly explored her, remaining and pressing against what got the best reactions out of her. Ellie had never thought she would experience something like this at the hands of one she considered worth more than the entire world. Then, Riley's tongue slipped inside and Ellie lost control.

"Holy fuck, yes!" she called as she bucked her hips against Riley's face, her whole body contorting as Riley's tongue continued to explore inside her, pressing against all the right places. Again, Ellie lost herself in sheer pleasure, forgetting the surrounding world as her muscles clenched and squeezed in ecstasy. Moments later, Ellie collapsed on the mattress, panting heavily, wiping sweat from her brow. Riley clambered upt to her, straddled her thigh, and kissed her. Ellie tasted herself on Riley's lips and tongue. It was like nothing she'd ever tasted before.

Ellie broke the kiss, "Thank you. Thank you so much. That was even better than before," she whispered into Riley's ear.

"Thank me? I should thank you. You have no idea what you do to me when you thrash around like that, saying my name. By the way, _that's_ what 'going down' on someone means."

"How did you know how to do that?"

"I read about it in an old magazine I 'borrowed' from Liz. She was super pissed when she found out I took it," Riley chuckled, "God, Ellie, I'm so wound up now. You gotta do something to help me out."

Ellie feigned ignorance, "Like what?"

"You know what."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

Riley began to grind herself on Ellie's thigh, leaving a trail of moisture, "God, you are impossible."

Ellie grabbed Riley's hip with her hand, ceasing her movement. Ellie looked down and slowly ran her hand around until it was just an inch from where Riley was begging to be touched, "I'm just fucking with you. I'll give you a deal. I'll help you, but first you have to take off your shirt," the words were barely out of Ellie's mouth when Riley savagely pulled the shirt over her head and threw it aside.

Ellie responded by moving her fingers lower and brushing the hard nub she found. Riley gasped loudly, "Holy shit, Ellie, that feels so -" she was cut off with a groan when Ellie found her entrance and slipped two fingers inside, as Riley had done to her. She placed her thumb on the nub and pressed down. Riley's eyes rolled back and she arched her back, moaning, "Oh, God," pushing her hips down into Ellie's hand, trapping it against her thigh.

Ellie continued to push back against her and soon, Riley was grinding into Ellie's hand, grunting and panting, eyes closed tightly in pleasure. She moaned as Ellie touched a particularly sensitive spot inside her. Ellie leaned up and kissed Riley's collarbone, slowly moving down until her lips found Riley's nipple. She pulled the nipple into her mouth and sucked, eliciting a cry of pleasure, "I'm so close, keep going," Riley panted as Ellie continued to move her fingers back and forth within her. Ellie curled her fingers and found what she was looking for, "Oh God, Ellie!" Riley cried out, her muscles clenching around Ellie's fingers like a vice. Riley's body went rigid, eyes closed in ecstasy.

After a moment, she collapsed on top of Ellie, dripping sweat, "Fucking hell, Ellie, that was beautiful," she breathed as Ellie removed her fingers. Ellie looked at them and a strange idea passed through her head. She took her fingers, placed them in her mouth, and sucked them clean. The taste was similar to her own, yet somehow different. She suddenly realized that she had done this in full view of Riley and a blush crept across her cheeks.

"What was that?" Riley smirked

"Well, since I want you to teach me how to go down on you, I might as well taste it first," Ellie mumbled.

"Well, what do I taste like?"

Ellie's lips curled into a wicked smile, "Want to find out?"

Riley breathed out a little chuckle. She took Ellie's wrist, slid her hand down between her own legs, and let Ellie probe her with two fingers. She shuddered, brought them back up coated with moisture, and placed the fingers in her mouth as Ellie had done. Ellie felt Riley's tongue swirl around them before she pulled her hand away.

"That's so fucking hot," Ellie said as she grinned. Another idea popped into her head. She suddenly grabbed Riley by the waist and threw her on her back, causing both girls to laugh uncontrollably. Ellie silenced Riley with a kiss, stood on her knees, and pulled her shirt off over her head, casually dropping it to the floor. She rejoined Riley with a fevered kiss, pushing her tongue past her lips, hands roaming her body. Riley pinched her nipple, making her groan with delight.

As loathe as she was to leave Riley's mouth, she knew she had to in order to make due on her promise. She trailed kissed down Riley's neck, collarbone, breast, belly, and then, taking a cue from Riley's earlier actions, skipped past her destination and started from the other end, kissing her way from Riley's toes, feet, and calves all the way to her inner thighs, "Oh God, Ellie, please! I'm dying here!" Riley begged as Ellie slowed her pace to an almost imperceptible crawl only inches away from Riley's sensitive spot.

Ellie looked up at her, suddenly unsure of what to do. Riley saw the concern in her eyes and said, "It's okay, Ellie. I'll direct you. If I can't talk, you're doing great."

Ellie dove in, "Oh right there. That's it, oh holy shit!" Riley's fingers snaked through Ellie's auburn hair as Ellie hit a sensitive spot, causing her to arch her back, "Little to the left. Yes, oh fuck yes," Riley's grip on Ellie's head tightened, "Oh Ellie, yes!" Riley moaned, her thighs pressing on Ellie's ears, "Put your fingers inside me! I want them in -" before Riley could finish her direction, Ellie slid two fingers in below her tongue, "Oh yes, right there, right there! I'm so fucking close, Ellie!"

The pressure of Riley's legs squeezing Ellie's ears like a press and the iron grip in Ellie's hair hurt, but Ellie enjoyed it as Riley shuddered, groaned, and writhed under her touch. Riley called out, "Ellie!" as a gush of fluid coated Ellie's fingers and mouth Ellie looked up at Riley and saw that the older girl's expression was one of pure bliss. Ellie drank in the sight of it before climbing back put to kiss her, straddling Riley's hips and enjoying the friction.

Ellie didn't give Riley time to recuperate. She pressed her core against Riley's, eliciting a moan which she used as an opportunity to push her tongue past Riley's lips. Riley quickly recovered and began to grind against her. Ellie rolled her hips and sat up, shuddering as the pleasure radiated from her core. Riley sat up as well and clung to her, her hot breath on Ellie's neck, hands grasping at her back.

"Oh God, Riley -"

"Ellie, that feels so good -"

"Don't stop -"

"Yes, yes, yes -"

"Oh, fuck -"

"Oh God, yes -"

"I'm so close, Riley -"

"I'm gonna -"

"Riley -"

"Ellie -"

They clutched and grasped at each other, shaking as their combined climax hit them, gripping each other as tightly as they could, riding the storm out together, sighing each other's names in ecstasy. They collapsed onto the mattress, a tangle of sweaty limbs and adolescent bodies, gasping for breath as they came down from their high. They bathed in the blissful afterglow for a long time, staying silent, nuzzling each other as they rested in each other's arms.

Ellie absentmindedly traced her fingernail over Riley's naked body, "I'm so glad we did this," she murmured with a smile.

Riley looked back at her lovingly, "So am I," she said and gave her a single kiss. Ellie chuckled a little.

"What?"

"We've been missing out."

Both girls started giggling then quickly erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Oh, man," Ellie sighed.

"'Oh man' is right. I'm impressed."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"You're not too bad, yourself."

They both laughed some more, losing themselves in the moment.

"You know Riley, I'm not sorry anymore for kissing you."

"Good," Riley smiled and curled up closer to her.

Ellie wished it would go on forever. Then she remembered why she had brought Riley to the mattress store in the first place. She remembered the frantic running, the blood pounding in her ears as she stabbed downward, the gunshots that rang out. Ellie glanced at her arm and saw the bite. It had sprouted fungus spores around it. She surreptitiously peeked at Riley's wound. It was similar, yet puffy and red around the tooth marks in the skin. A sudden wave of sorrow overcame her and tears came streaming down her face.

"I don't want to leave you, Riley," she sobbed, "I don't want to be alone again."

Riley pulled her close and kissed her ear, "Shh, it'll be okay. It'll be okay."

Ellie quaked with the force of her sobs, "It's not fucking fair! It's not fucking fair!"

Ellie wept into Riley's shoulder, Riley petting her back and kissing the side of her head, whispering comfort into her ear. After Ellie's sobs had quieted down, Riley kissed her lips once and said lovingly, "You're okay, Ellie. I've got you. Let's get up, get dressed, and see if we can find any clothes that'll hide these eye sores from the military, okay?"

Ellie sniffled and nodded, wiping her tears away with her hand. They dressed each other in silence, pausing occasionally to touch or to kiss. They pulled their packs on and left the mattress store hand in hand, returning to where they had danced just hours before. Ellie, her mood slowly returning, found a long-sleeve black undershirt and a pink t-shirt with a beach graphic on it. She put them both on.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked Riley.

"Give me a spin."

Ellie giggled, twirled around in a circle, and found herself suddenly in Riley's arms again, "You're perfect," Riley grinned before sweetly kissing her.

Another idea popped into Ellie's head, "Hey, remember that vacation in L.A. we were saving up for?"

"Yeah?"

"After surfing, I'd totally bone you on the beach."

"In a beachside house, maybe but the beach itself? That's gross. Sand would get everywhere!" the gleam in Riley's eye betrayed her words and Ellie kissed her again. Ellie felt her eyes soften as she gazed into Riley's eyes.

"We still have some time, if you want to -" Ellie began but she was cut off when Riley violently sneezed onto the back of her own hand. Ellie was about to giggle and comment on how Riley's sneezes had always been cute when she saw it.

Blood. A nice big spatter, right on the back of Riley's hand. The horror of what this meant sunk in.

"No. No, no, no," Ellie whispered. Blood continued to drip out of Riley's nose. Riley tried to wipe the blood off her hand, but it just smeared all over instead. She grabbed Ellie by the wrist.

"We need to go. Now."

* * *

**From the outset, this was the scene I intended on writing. A scene of exploration, both sexual and tender, by two young people who want to spend what they assume are their last moments together. This scene was hard for me to write, both from a technical standpoint and an emotional one. It's hard to write a scene where the two people involved have little to no vocabulary for what they are doing and keeping the thought processes as true and believable as possible. Emotionally, this was hard as Left Behind affected me deeply and the tragedy that comes with the ending of that DLC still rings true throughout.**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will see you next time with Chapter 3.**


	3. Chapter 3: Remorse and Blame

**Author's Note: **

**Sorry if Ellie seems a bit weepy in these first three chapters. I promise that there will be less weeping in coming chapters.**

* * *

Chapter 3: Remorse and Blame

The sun slowly set on Boston. Ellie had followed behind Riley as they carefully marched through back alleys and buildings to sneak around checkpoints. Ellie looked on Riley, noticing the older girl had her wounded hand shoved in her pocket, other hand pressed against her nostrils to cover the bleeding. Her head was bowed, apparently deep in thought. She occasionally glanced back at Ellie with a feigned smile. The hours ticked by and night fell. Riley picked up the pace. Ellie struggled to catch up.

"Where are we going?"

"The Fireflies, I told you. Marlene will help us."

"No, I mean where specifically. Didn't they take us to someplace underground last time?"

"We're going right to the hideout. Come on, it's not too far."

The two girls walked on in silence. As Riley passed through an open gate in a chain link fence, she suddenly spun around and shoved Ellie back, shutting the gate with the click of a lock.

"Riley, what are you doing?!" Ellie grabbed the gate and tried to push it open, to no avail.

"I'm keeping you from stopping me."

"What?!"

"Look at me!"

Riley's eyes were bloodshot, turning red. Her wounded hand was inflamed and sprouting fungus. Her nose dripped blood continually. Her expression was one of intense sorrow. She said her next words soberly.

"You're immune."

"I'm not."

"Ellie, it's been a whole day. I'm way worse than you, and you only have tooth marks. I have sprouts starting to crop up all over me. I feel them pushing through, everywhere. You have to face this."

"I have sprouts on my arm, too!" Eille rolled up her sleeve and shoved her bare arm through a gap in the gate.

"It's only on your bite," Riley murmured, and Ellie saw that she was right. She had no blood, no sprouts anywhere but the bite, and no bloodshot eyes. But she didn't care. She wanted to stay with Riley, to the end.

"I'm not going to leave you!"

"Ellie, I'm going to turn. Soon." Tears streamed down both the girls' faces, "I don't want you to see me like that."

Ellie stared Riley down, sniffing, "You said we had to keep fighting! What happened to fighting? What the fuck happened to fighting?!" she pounded her fist on the gate.

"I'm not giving up, Ellie. But I don't want you to die because of me," Rliey stuck her hands through the grate, gently grabbed Ellie's wrist, and placed something in Ellie's hand. It was her Firefly pendant, "Not after what we shared," Riley backed away from the gate and drew her pistol with a shaky hand.

Ellie slammed her fists on the gate as she wept, "Don't do this to me!"

"Keep fighting, Ellie," Riley mumbled as she placed the gun to her temple.

"Don't leave me again, Riley!"

"I love you," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

"DON'T -"

_BANG!_

The gunshot was deafening. Ellie didn't notice that she reached out at the falling form of Riley's body. She didn't notice when she collapsed against the gate. She didn't know how long she sat, or notice when the sun began to rise. All she saw was Riley, motionless on the concrete, blood pooling beneath her corpse.

"What the fuck is going -. Holy shit! Ellie?!"

Ellie refused to look. It was Marlene's voice.

"Ellie, I heard a gunshot! What the hell is -" Marlene got close enough and saw Riley's body, "Oh, God. Ellie. What happened?"

Ellie refused to break her sight from Riley's corpse.

"Ellie," Marlene's hand gently came to rub Ellie's shoulder, "Please tell me what happened."

"Riley shot herself."

"Why?"

"We were bitten."

"Both of you?"

Ellie could only nod. She didn't notice that Marlene had drawn a pistol and was currently pointing it at the back of her head while trying to stifle tears.

"Ellie, how did this happen?"

"We were at the mall. She wanted to see me one last time before she left. We got bitten. That was yesterday morning," Ellie finally looked up to see Marlene's pistol aimed at her head, tears streaming down the Firefly's face.

"You know what I have to do now, right?" Marlene choked back a sob that threatened to come loose, "I don't want to do this. Why did you have to get bitten?"

Ellie just looked into Marlene's eyes, full of sadness, "Riley and I got bitten at the same time. Look at her, then look at me."

Marlene looked at Riley's cold body and immediately noticed the difference between their infections. She looked back at Ellie, whose face dripped tears, "She shot herself because she was gonna turn and I wasn't."

Marlene stared blankly for a moment, and then put the pistol away. She reached down and gently pulled Ellie to her feet, "I'm sorry, Ellie. Let's get you someplace safe where we can talk."

"Can we bury her?"

"I don't think so."

"I'm not going anywhere until we bury her."

Marlene knelt down and placed both her hands gently on Ellie's shoulders, "There's no place to bury her body, Ellie. I really wish we could, if only to give you some closure, but we can't. It's just not possible."

Ellie looked down, "Figures," she muttered before following Marlene, staring at her feet.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. Ellie followed Marlene from safehouse to safehouse, listening as the Fireflies bickered over whether she was immune or just infected. Eventually, after some persuasion by Marlene, they believed it, too.

Ellie was immune.

It made her sick. She didn't ask for it. She didn't want it. She wanted Riley to be back. She didn't want to be important. As shitty as it was, she just wanted to go back to her old life. One morning, Marlene and Ellie sat together having breakfast when Marlene spoke up, "I know how you feel, Ellie."

Ellie looked up, "How would you know?" she snarled, more hostile than she had intended her response to be.

Marlene gave Ellie a sorrowful look, "I know it's painful, but the best thing we can do is try to move on."

"Move on? Really?" Ellie glared angrily at Marlene, "Is that what you thought when my mom died?"

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She clapped a hand over her mouth, "Oh shit, I'm sorry…I…"

She expected Marlene to stand up and throw her food, roar at her about how she was just a child that didn't know anything, call her ungrateful. However, Marlene just shook her head, "No. No it wasn't what I thought. I was angry. I was hurt. I felt alone. But the only thing I could do was promise. Promise to take care of someone," she mumbled, pointing her spoon at Ellie, "You."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"It's okay, Ellie. Like I said, I know how you feel."

Ellie stirred her oatmeal, staring at the swirling pattern it made, "She came to see me. She came to see me and it got her killed."

"It's not your fault, Ellie."

"It _is_ my fault. Without me, she would have stayed with you guys and she'd have been fine in another city."

"Ellie…"

"I killed Riley, Marlene."

Marlene shook her head again, "No, Ellie, you didn't. The infected killed her."

Ellie looked back at Marlene, "Did they shoot her? No. She shot herself because she didn't want to hurt me. She'd be infected, but she'd still be alive if it wasn't for me."

Marlene frowned and both continued to eat in silence, before Marlene spoke again.

"Did Riley ask you to do anything before she died?"

Ellie stopped cold, "That's private."

"I'm only trying to help."

Ellie stared at her oatmeal. The brown sludge was becoming colder and colder, "She said, 'fight for me.'"

"What do you think she meant by that?"

It was suddenly clear to Ellie what she had to do, "I'm the cure, aren't I?"

Marlene nodded.

* * *

"Come on, kid, grab your shit and let's move before soldiers find us," Trevor whispered, pistol drawn, peeking down the hallway, making sure the coast was clear.

Ellie ignored him as she stuffed clothes into her backpack. Whatever clothes she used, they had to be long-sleeved. Ellie grabbed ahold of her winter coat, jacket, and undershirt and threw them in the pack. The man who was her guard, Trevor, had greeted her with, "Hey, remember this?" while flashing his scarred thumb at her before lighting up a cigarette. Ellie resolved to take her sweet time. However, as much as she disliked Trevor, he could be kind when he needed to be, unlike Ethan. Ethan was Corporal Dickhead without the rank to be able to bully people.

But she didn't have time to worry about that now. They'd returned to the prep school in order to get Ellie's clothes, as Marlene had said that Ellie could grab mementos if she needed to. Ethan had been strongly against it, but Trevor had put a hand on Ellie's shoulder and said, "Look, we all have private stuff. Her's just happens to be surrounded by soldiers."

Now, Ellie finished packing her bag and was almost on the way out when she saw something on her desk. It was the picture, with Riley holding the camera and Ellie embracing her from behind, both of them beaming. She stepped over to it and picked it up.

"Kid, what the hell are you doing? We gotta go!"

"In a minute!" Ellie hissed. She lightly touched the photo. She remembered the ensuing conversation as she'd grabbed for the camera.

"_Oh come on, let me try!"_

_"No! You'll break it!"_

_"Pleeeeeaase?"_

_"No!"_

_"Pretty please?"_

_"No!"_

_"Super pretty please with a cherry on top?"_

_"What does that even mean?"_

_"No idea, but can I use the camera?"_

As Riley had relented and passed the camera over to her, Ellie's grip had slipped and the camera had fallen to the ground, breaking into a dozen pieces. There'd been an argument after that, but they made up quickly, even though Riley had always given her crap about the camera. Ellie put the photo in her pack.

"You done yet?"

Ellie walked toward the door, gave the room one last look, and turned back to Trevor, "Yeah, let's go. I'm sick of this place."

The two of them snuck back out of the school without incident. After they got to an alley in Firefly territory near to the safehouse where they were supposed to regroup, Trevor sat down on a dumped over trashcan, pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket, drew his zippo lighter, and began to smoke. Ellie coughed.

"Why do you smoke, Trevor?" she asked, waving smoke away from her face, "I thought cigarette factories stopped producing."

"They did," he grunted, putting away the lighter and blowing smoke out of his nose.

"Then where do you get new ones?"

"I don't," he leaned back against the brick wall of the alleyway.

"So, you're smoking twenty year old cigarettes?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Because I'd go nuts if I didn't," he blew out a puff of smoke, sighing, "I don't want to keep doing this, but there's no way to quit without just going cold turkey. As long as I keep finding them, I'm gonna keep smoking them."

Ellie sat down in the grass, "So, what does 'cold turkey' mean?"

"Full stop. Just get rid of whatever you're addicted to and just not touch it again. Easier said than done."

"So, your plan is to smoke all the cigarettes you can find until you can't find anymore?"

"Bingo."

Suddenly, Ethan rounded the corner, an assault rifle in his hands, "There you are. You two done jawing off? Let's get the fuck out of here before soldiers crack down on us!"

"Not until I'm done. Marlene bitches about it when I smoke indoors," Trevor didn't even look at him.

"Come on, dickwad, we've got a job to do."

Trevor gave him the finger, "Take the kid and tell Marlene I'm out smoking."

Ethan hauled Ellie to her feet and then the two of them left Trevor, sitting on the trashcan puffing away.

* * *

Another morning and the Fireflies were having breakfast, Ellie sitting across from Marlene as if they'd been doing this for years in school.

"You know, Riley talked about you a lot."

"What'd she say?"

"She wanted you to join us. She missed you a lot. She was really angry when I told her she had to go."

Ellie was quiet, stirring her food pensively.

Marlene gestured to Ellie's oatmeal, "You need to eat, Ellie."

"I'm not hungry."

"You've barely touched your food."

"I said I'm not hungry."

Marlene shook her head, "Look, you can't starve yourself. You're too important."

"I didn't ask for this," Ellie muttered.

"I didn't either. Please. Eat. For Riley."

Ellie glared at Marlene, "How dare you."

"She wouldn't want you to starve yourself."

"You don't know what the _fuck_ she'd want!" Ellie abruptly stood up, fists clenched, "You know _nothing_ about her! How _dare_ you! You told her to go to another city! She died because she wanted to say goodbye! It's all your fault, Marlene!"

Marlene didn't even try to defend herself. She sat as Ellie continued to rail against her, "You didn't even try to find her, did you?! You didn't even notice she was gone!"

Ethan came over, "Kid, that's enough out of you," he growled, but Trevor was right behind him.

"Shut up, Ethan," Trevor snarled, "Let her vent."

Ellie ignored them, anger and grief spouting from every pore in her body, "She's dead! She's fucking dead because of you! You killed her!" she seized her bowl of oatmeal and threw it across the room. It hit the far wall, shattering into a million pieces, the contents spattering all over the wall. Ellie stormed off. Ethan moved to grab her, but Marlene put a hand on him.

"Let her go."

Ellie found her 'room' and slammed the door. She furiously sat down in the corner, clutching her knees, and began to weep, big, heaving sobs. She'd wondered when it would come. The crying. She hated crying. She thought it was strange that she hadn't consciously cried when Riley killed herself in front of her, or that she hadn't cried for the two weeks afterward. But now she was crying. The dam had broken, the mask had fallen, and now there was nothing to stop it. She let herself cry until the tears were gone, and even then she continued to shake in her sorrow.

She didn't notice when the door opened and Marlene sat down next to her. She felt the Firefly put an arm around her. The touch was gentle and comforting. Ellie continued to shake as Marlene rubbed her shoulders, "It's okay to let it out, Ellie. Sometimes we just need to let it all out."

"She said she loved me," Ellie finally choked out, "Right before she pulled the trigger."

"She did?"

"Yeah...we…" Ellie continued to sob, "We…" she wanted to tell Marlene what she had shared with Riley, but the words wouldn't come. Somehow, Marlene understood.

"She was your first?"

Ellie nodded.

"I'm sorry."

They both sat in silence as Ellie's sobs slowly faded away. Marlene broke the silence.

"Next week, I'm going to take you to the bakery safehouse, okay? We're going to smuggle you out of the city, take you to a lab out west, and then we'll save everyone from the infected. I can't promise it won't be difficult or dangerous, but we're going to have to try."

"For Riley?" Ellie looked up at Marlene, wiping her face. Marlene nodded.

"It'll be okay, Ellie."

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter, even though it was almost pure tragedy, guilt, anger, and sadness. As for why Riley takes the 'easy way out,' I always thought that Riley didn't get a chance to turn, even though it's left open for interpretation in Left Behind and The Last of Us. Even though Riley wanted to wait it out, I believe that as soon as she realized that Ellie wouldn't turn, she'd take every step possible to prevent herself from harming Ellie, even if it meant emotionally damaging her best friend and losing her own life. If she was willing to cross a city full of soldiers that shoot Fireflies on sight, she would be willing to break the promise of waiting it out to save Ellie from herself. **

**As always, thank you for reading and I shall see you in Chapter 4.**

**robertskycard**


	4. Chapter 4: Mall Rat

**Author's Note:**

**You get free bonus points for getting the _Walking Dead_ reference.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Mall Rat

(Early Fall, Two Months Later, Somewhere in the Midwest)

"Ellie?"

"Huh?"

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

"Oh. Just the mall," Ellie gestured up at the sign. _Freedom Gardens_. So close, yet so dissimilar, she thought. She'd lost herself in her memories when she saw the building. Cursing herself for letting it happen, she turned away to follow Joel but he stood, examining the front doors. He spoke.

"We're runnin' low on food. Think there's anythin' we can scrounge up in there?"

"What, like in the food courts?"

"Not what I'm thinkin'," Joel scratched his chin, "Places like this have a lot of hidin' spots. Maybe someone holed up in here, thinkin' long-term, and grabbed a bunch of canned goods. I know some people did that back when everythin' went down. Might even have scoured up some ammo and other things we might need."

"So, what, like a mall rat version of Bill?" Ellie was reminded of Winston.

"Exactly," Joel's brow furrowed, "But lots of hidin' places mean it might be full of infected. Whaddaya think?"

"What do _I_ think? Well…"

Ellie mulled it over. Aside from Joel's reasoning, she had her own issues to contend with. On one hand, their food was low and she'd do just about anything to stave off her hunger, including eat a dusty, twenty year old can of beans. On the other hand, she didn't necessarily want to risk reopening old wounds.

"Do you think it's safe?" she asked, hoping for guidance.

"Nothin's safe, you know that. Only safer."

"I'm just asking," Ellie sighed, "Look, I'm hungry, but I'm not sure if I wanna go in there. It reminds me of where I got bit."

Joel rubbed his beard thoughtfully, "Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna go up to that door there and try to open it. If it don't open for any reason, or we find any reason not to go in there, we leave. If it's open, and there ain't no threat, we go in, see what we can find, and get out. That seem fair?"

"That's fair."

"Alright then."

Joel stepped toward the door and grabbed the handle. Ellie hoped for a moment that it would refuse to budge, but her heart sank when it swung wide open. She forced a smile, but Joel knew something was up.

"Somethin' wrong, Ellie?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really."

"Look, you can tell me what's goin' on."

Ellie sighed but looked Joel up and down, "I'm gonna have to go into a mall eventually."

"It don't have to be this one."

Ellie stood a little straighter, hoping to convince both him and herself, "It's okay Joel. I've got a handle on it."

Joel looked her over, puzzled, but he relented, "Okay. Let's go find a directory. Give us some idea of where everythin' is."

They stepped into the main lobby. Vines and tree branches cascaded down from the ceiling. The leaves were slowly beginning to turn various colors. Fall was approaching. Holes like this were all over the mall, as far as Ellie could tell. She reflected on Winston's tent, the trees that had grown around the carousel and way birds had danced in the morning light. She smiled as she remembered the puns she'd read to Riley.

"Ellie, over here," Joel's voice cut through her memories, returning her to reality.

"Oh, yeah, coming!" she called out as she bounded over to him. He pointed to a red X on the directory.

"You know how to read one of these things."

"Pfft. Yeah."

"Okay, then. I'll take this floor, you get the second level. Let's meet back here in an hour."

"Is that a good idea?"

Joel turned to her, "I need to start trustin' you with things more often. Let's think of this as a…team buildin' exercise."

"'Team building exercise?' What's that?"

"Well, a lot of times, a bunch of folks who didn't or barely know each other would meet and some instructor would tell 'em to do stuff as a team. They'd do stuff like fall backwards so the others would catch 'em, or do somethin' tied together and blindfolded. You know, teamwork."

"That's totally weird."

"It was supposed to build trust."

"Did it always work?"

"Well, even if it didn't, people'd have fun with it."

"I bet their lives didn't depend on it."

"True."

Ellie considered, "Alright then, let's go team-build."

She set off toward the nearest escalator not clogged with debris. As she ascended, she couldn't help but shake the feeling that something would go terribly wrong. She tried to ignore it as she reached the top. She looked to her left. It was a clothing store. She looked to her right. Shoe store. She couldn't make out the store in front of her. The ceiling hadn't collapsed yet and the store front was set back enough that it was shrouded in darkness. She turned on her flashlight.

_Homey Mattress Supply_

"Goddammit," Ellie muttered as her heart sank. It was the same store where she and Riley had slept together. She immediately remembered the caresses, the tastes, the smell, the way her heart pounded in her chest, and Riley calling her name. She didn't want to remember that. If she didn't remember, she couldn't feel the pain. But the memories were there, begging her to stop and lose herself in them.

She turned from the store front and walked the other direction, hoping to ignore the knot in her stomach and the warmth below. The memories continued to play through her head as she walked on, trying her best to focus on the task at hand. She entered a toy store, a book store, and a chocolatier's shop. Finding nothing, she continued her search for supplies. Store after store, room after room, she found nothing but dilapidated store fronts, desiccated corpses, and inedible plant life. She didn't consider herself lucky that she didn't find any infected or hostile people.

She finally returned to the mattress shop after exploring the shoe and clothing stores and discovering nothing of use. She stood outside the _Homey Mattress Supply_, hesitant to go in. She had to complete her sweep, but she didn't want to awaken her memories even more.

"Fuck it," she said aloud before stepping through the doors. She scanned the interior. This store, unlike many of the others, was mostly intact. Mattress looting probably wasn't high on the priority list during the outbreak, she thought. She slowly maneuvered through the maze of beds, checking behind them to make sure something hadn't dropped down there. She continued her search, the thought of Riley's lips eating away at her. Guilt dogged her every step. She finally sat down upon one of the beds and pulled out Riley's pendant from her jeans pocket.

"You remember a place like this?" she whispered, "I do. I'll never forget what we did there, but right now I don't want to remember. I need to focus and find what I'm looking for."

For a moment, the memories abated. She returned the pendant to her pocket and stood. There. A door, probably to the manager's office. She approached it and tried to open it. Locked. She noticed that door had a glass window on the side. She pulled out a brick from her pack, backed away, and lobbed the brick with force. The glass shattered and cascaded to the floor.

"I still got it," Ellie said, to herself or to Riley's memory, she wasn't sure. She reached in through the window and unlocked the dead bolt and the handle. She jimmied the handle. It worked. She pushed the handle down and pulled the door open.

Inside the office was a desk, three open lockers, and a corpse lying on the ground with a revolver in its hand. Inside the lockers were stacks of canned food, almost as much as what they found in the radio tower outside of Pittsburg. She counted the cans and came up with twenty five cans of food. Smiling, she went over and searched the corpse. Unfortunately, the revolver refused to come open and, after trying without success, Ellie placed it in her pack. She then searched the desk. The desk itself had nothing upon it but old business logs and other strewn pieces of paper. She crumpled them up and placed them in the tinder pouch of her backpack. Then, she opened the drawer. There was a box of revolver ammo with six rounds, and a note. She picked it up and read.

_Got bit_

_Bloody spit_

_World gone to shit_

_Might as well quit_

Ellie felt a pang of sadness for the dead man. Suddenly, she vividly remembered Riley sneezing blood. It made her sick to her stomach. She sat down in the old office chair and waited for the feeling of nausea to pass. She remembered Riley, gingerly putting the pendant in her hand, backing away, placing the gun to her head, and pulling the trigger. She remembered the words Riley had whispered.

_"I love you."_

Riley loved her. And it made her feel like the worst person in the world, because she felt the same way but never told Riley while she was alive. She pulled out Riley's pendant again, looking at it. She opened her mouth to speak, but the three words she wanted to say wouldn't come out. She tried again, but they just wouldn't come. She settled on something different. She placed the cold metal of the pendant to her lips, gently kissing it before putting it back in her pocket. Her nausea abated.

She reached into the desk, pulled out the ammo, and stood up from the chair, making her way back to the lockers. She stuffed the food and ammo inside her pack, zipped it up, and left. She reached the top of the escalator and turned, giving the store one last look before descending to the first floor.

She sat on a bench by the directory, swinging her legs, wondering what Joel's reaction to her discovery would be. Moments later, Joel appeared.

"Find anything?" he asked, "I didn't have much luck," he brandished a single can of peaches.

Ellie grinned, "You were right. There was a mall rat version of Bill," she opened her pack and showed him the food. His eyes bugged.

"Holy shit," he breathed. They took inventory of what they found. Thirteen cans of beans, thirteen cans of peaches, the uncooperative revolver, and the ammo. Joel struggled to open the revolver, but discovered that the weapon was damaged beyond repair. Joel decided to break the wheel out to see if there was ammunition inside. Once it popped out, he found only one, empty casing.

"Well, so much for that," he said, tossing the busted gun aside, "That was quite a haul. I'm actually a little impressed."

"I got lucky."

"_We_ got lucky. Real lucky," Joel cracked a smile, "You ready to quit this place?"

Ellie nodded and they both made their way outside.

* * *

**We got to see Joel in this chapter, but he hasn't taken on the fatherly figure yet that we see by the end of The Last of Us. I thought that the use of a "team building" exercise as was the best metaphor for their relationship at this point in time.**

**I am very aware that I skipped the entirety of the Summer chapters in The Last of Us. I don't usually tell a story that's already been told, even if I make a large gap in my own story as a result. A lot happens in that season, but it's still summer by the time it ends. The next thing we saw as players were the characters a short walk away from their destination, which happens to be a most of a continent away from the Pittsburgh Suburbs. Though the Midwest is often referred to as 'flyover country,' I've lived here long enough to know that there's a lot of people, towns, and cities out here in the 'boonies', enough that I know that a journey across it can provide lots of opportunity to create settings, characters, and story that hasn't been told before.**

**Another thing I wanted to experiment on with this chapter was mental exposition. I didn't do it too much with the previous three chapters, as I tend to write dialogue and actions instead of thoughts and feelings, but this time was different as Ellie was mostly alone for this chapter. So how did it turn out? Let me know in your reviews if you decide to write them and I shall see you in Chapter 5.**

**robertskycard**


	5. Chapter 5: Windy City (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

**Just a head's up, this chapter is, unfortunately, really short. Don't worry, though. The next one will make up for it.**

* * *

Chapter 5: Windy City (Part 1)

Days later, they had resumed their trek on the highway. Ellie padded after Joel, her mind wandering. They stayed silent as they marched on. They came to a highway sign that read, "CHICAGO" and underneath, "3 MILES"

"Whadda think?" Ellie said, "Should we risk it?"

"Well, that mall food ain't gonna last much longer."

"There might be assholes like in Pittsburg."

"Yeah," Joel stroked his chin, "Almost every city became a quarantine zone at some point. I don't know if Chicago's fell or not, and sometimes those zones just got overrun with infected."

"I think we should risk it."

Joel looked at her, a little incensed, "Excuse me?"

"Well, we got lucky once. Maybe we can find food there."

Joel looked from her to the sign, "We don't have to make up our mind now. We can do that at the off ramp," he turned and they continued their march.

An hour later, they arrived at the off ramp. Joel leaned against a burnt out car husk.

"Well, what are you thinkin'?" Joel asked as he checked the ammo in his pistol.

Ellie considered for a few moments, "Cities used to have a lot of people, right? So, lots of people means there was lots of food at some point, and since most of it was probably canned, there's probably still some left."

"It's still risky."

"Nothing's safe, Joel. Only safer."

Joel rubbed his beard in thought. After a moment of consideration, he stood up.

"There's a number of reasons why this might be a stupid idea, but you have a point. Now, I'm going to make the same deal we had at the mall a few days back. If for any reason we think it's dangerous, we back out."

Ellie nodded, "Okay."

Joel proceeded down the off ramp with Ellie in toe. A light breeze blew against their faces. Ellie was suddenly reminded of a passage in her geography book at the prep schools.

"In school, I read that Chicago was called 'The Windy City.' Was it windy all the time in Chicago?"

"Actually, it was 'cause of politics."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Well, apparently the politics in the city were always shiftin' real quick, like the wind. I actually don't know the whole reason behind it."

They were silent a moment.

"What are politics, anyway?"

Joel sighed and rubbed his face with his hand, "Well, before the outbreak, we had a government. There were people in charge of makin' roads, keepin' the peace, and just managin' the country in general. Mostly though, they'd just fight and never get anythin' done."

"Oh. Like the Council in _Savage Starlight_!"

Joel suppressed a snort of derision, but Ellie caught it, "Hey, if you think of abetter example I can relate to, I'm all ears."

Joel cracked a smile and shook his head, "I guess that'll have to do."

They pressed on, Ellie watching as the buildings slowly surrounded them, the sun slowly setting behind the buildings. After another half hour of walking, they found an old FEDRA gate adorned with red graffiti that said, "ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE!" There seemed to be no way to get past it.

"Do we turn back?" Ellie looked at Joel. He went up to the gate and examined it for a moment.

"Well, if we pull on this handle here, we might be able to get it open."

He reached for the handle when he suddenly stopped. Ellie followed his eyes and saw it, too. Gouge marks under the gate's path of movement. They still had dust around them.

"Ellie, get your gun."

"DON'T FUCKING MOVE!"

Ellie looked up and saw an angry, burly man with ragged hair and a straggly beard standing over the top of the gate, pointing a shotgun down at her. He wore armor like a soldier, but Ellie knew soldiers were supposed to keep groomed, "Move for your gun and I _will_ blow your head off!"

Joel already had his pistol out and pointed at the man when another voice came from behind the gate, "Put the gun down right now or we shoot!"

Four more men popped up from behind the gate, pointing rifles, pistols, and a bow at Ellie and Joel. They all wore armor and uniforms like the soldiers of the Boston QZ, but they didn't look like they had the discipline.

"Joel, what do we do?" Ellie whispered as she turned to look at Joel, but he was already laying his pistol on the ground, his other hand high in the air. Ellie raised her hands in the air.

"We don't want any trouble, we're just lookin' for food," Joel said loudly and clearly. The men said nothing, keeping their weapons trained on them.

"Secure them!" one of the men called out, and six more men appeared from the nearby buildings and surrounded them. The man with the shotgun pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"This is Fredricks at the highway checkpoint. We have two outsiders at the gate with hands in the air, what's the command?"

The walkie crackled as the person on the other end answered, "Describe them."

"One is male, late forties, graying black hair, eye color is brown, and weight's about a buck fifty. The other's a female, about fifteen, reddish brown hair, green eye color, and weighs probably only a hundred pounds, if that."

"Search them and bring them in for questioning and quarantine."

"Yes, sir," he said, putting the walkie away, "You heard the man," Fredricks vaulted over the gate and pulled it open, "Packs on the ground. Then, get down on the ground, hands away from your body and palms flat on the concrete," They did as they were instructed. Two men bent down beside them. Ellie felt hands pat along her body. She felt revolted when they touched her hips.

"You guys are disgusting, you know that?" she spat.

"Yeah, yeah," the man patting her down muttered, "Look, you might have anything hidden in your clothes," he said as patted along her legs. He pulled the pistol out of her pants, reached into her back pocket, and pulled out Ellie's switchblade, "Like that gun and this little pig sticker you've got."

"That was my mother's, you son of a bitch!" Ellie snarled.

The man ignored her and tossed it to Fredricks, who pressed the button that made the blade spring out, "I guess it's more than sentimental," he shook his head and knelt down to Ellie's pack, closed the blade, opened the pack, and deposited the gun and switchblade inside before zipping it back up.

Once the men were positive that Ellie and Joel were stripped of all weapons, they were hauled back to their feet and surrounded at a fair distance. Fredricks spoke, "Take off your shirts and pants."

"Oh, shit," Ellie thought as she subconsciously rubbed her bite through the sleeve.

"Like hell," Joel growled.

"Listen, buddy, you are in no position to –"

"She ain't takin' her clothes off in front of you, you sick fucks."

Fredricks glowered at Joel, "Oh, I get it. Okay. Fine, we'll forgo the strip-search with her. Not with you. Shirt off, now."

Joel glared at him, but removed his shirt and pulled down his pants.

"Put them back on. We're done here," Fredricks said and started turning away. Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, but suddenly Fredricks stopped and turned back, pointing his shotgun at Joel.

"Roll up your sleeves and your pant legs, kid, or I'll blow his head off."

"The hell are you doin'?" Joel snarled.

"I'm not so fucking stupid as to think that you just care about her modesty. She's bit."

"She's not."

"We'll see."

Ellie looked at Joel for help, who only just looked back at her nervously.

"I don't have all fucking day."

Sighing with defeat, Ellie rolled up her sleeve, showing the bite to the men present. They didn't even flinch.

"Told you."

* * *

**That's all for this one, and I hope you continue on to Chapter 6. Things are about to get really interesting.**

**robertskycard**

**P.S. If you've been wondering why I'm posting daily, it's because I've been working on this fic pretty much since Left Behind came out back in February. I'm not making the same mistake I made with my last fanfic and going off half-cocked. I have a full story planned and I have it mostly fleshed out, with some editing, transposing, proofreading, etc. Unfortunately, I may have to slow down my aggressive posting schedule because I'm catching up to my incomplete work way faster than I thought I would. Therefore, I shall only post on weekdays.**


	6. Chapter 6: Windy City (Part 2)

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter contains graphic violence. Reader discretion has been advised.**

* * *

Chapter 6: Windy City (Part 2)

Ellie and Joel had been taken into the abandoned quarantine zone, specifically an old fast-food restaurant called _Burger Hut_. Now, they were strapped to chairs, waiting for someone, who was supposed to come and question them. Ellie squirmed in her seat.

"It ain't no use, Ellie. We don't have any weapons."

"But how are we going to get out of here?"

"Our best hope of gettin' out of here is just answerin' what this guy asks us. They said they'd put us into quarantine, so we'll wait it out and when you're still fine, they won't shoot us."

"We hope."

"We hope."

Ellie stopped squirming, but then she remembered how they got here in the first place, "I'm so fucking stupid," she grumbled, "I got us into this mess."

"Well, you can't win 'em all."

The door of the Burger Hut opened. Their questioner had arrived and he made his way to a spot on the floor in front of them, humming a mournful sounding tune with a casual air that contrasted the very nature of the song he hummed. He stopped when he reached his mark and began to pace in front of them. He was a tall man with short, trimmed blonde hair, blue eyes, and a carefully maintained reddish-brown beard. He stood with his back straight, hands clasped behind his back, and wore a military uniform. He reminded Ellie of the military prep school officials back in Boston, specifically Corporal Dickhead. However, in his eyes seemed to be something that indicated that he wasn't nearly as rigid as the officials had been, which was quickly confirmed by the first words out of his mouth.

"What the fuck makes you think it's a good idea to haul an infected girl through my city?"

Joel and Ellie both remained silent.

"Quiet ones, huh? I have a protocol to maintain. First, I'm going to search the guys that captured you for bites. Then, I'm going to ask you two some questions, and if you want to walk out of here breathing you better answer them quickly and honestly. Then, I'm going to place you two and whoever's bitten into quarantine. Finally, we're going to wait."

Joel spoke up, "What if your guy kills one of us?"

"Well, then I guess that's too fucking bad. If you don't turn by then, you're free to go, but first you have some serious explaining to do."

He left the room and returned a few moments later, "No bites on my guys. You won't die by their hand." he said as he pulled a chair from a corner and sat down in front of them.

"Names. Now."

"I'm Joel. This is Ellie."

"Where are you from?"

Joel answered, "Texas."

"No shit? I thought Kentucky. In all seriousness, you were traveling east-to-west, but 'where are you from' can mean two different things, so I'll use different words. Where are you traveling from?"

"Boston."

"And you, kid, did you just stumble on him or were you with him the whole time? I mean, it's clearly obvious he isn't your dad, since you don't have the accent," he said, turning to Ellie.

"I was with him from Boston."

"Where did you get the bite?"

"Boston."

"Bullshit."

"I was bitten in a mall in Boston."

"If you had said 'Chicago' or 'Kansas City' I would have believed you, maybe. But right now, I'm about two seconds from putting a hole in your little skull, so look me in the eye and tell me where you got your fucking bite."

Ellie locked eyes with him, "A mall in Boston. Liberty Gardens."

He chuckled, "Well, I guess we'll find out the veracity of your statement in due time," he turned back to Joel, "Who is she to you? Did you adopt her?"

"No, she's… I promised someone I'd take care of her."

"Who?"

"Does it matter?"

The man frowned and stood up slowly before drawing a revolver from the back of his pants, "Let me make this perfectly clear. If you cooperate, you'll go into quarantine and, if your story's true, you might get to walk out of here. If you do _not_ cooperate, I'm going to kill you. It's that fucking simple. Now, who did you promise?"

Joel glared at him before answering, "Tess."

The man sat back down, "Who is Tess? Sounds like a lady's name."

"I used to work for her, smuggling out of the quarantine zone in Boston. She told me to take the girl to my brother's place."

"And where is that?"

"Jackson, Wyoming."

"I assume that's where you two were headed?"

"Yes."

The man scratched his head, "So, what got Tess? Infected? Military? The Fireflies? Or did she just abandon you?"

Joel's jaw hardened, "The military."

"I see. Sounds like she was special to you, am I right?"

Joel eyes burned with an intense anger, "That's private."

"I guess she was."

The man stood up and walked away, rubbing his bearded chin, "So, why are you headed to Wyoming all the way from Boston? It isn't just because someone told you to, even if they were someone really special. No one is that fucking stupid."

Both Joel and Ellie remained silent. The man spoke again, "I'm going to ask this, and I'm only going to ask this once. Why are you traveling halfway across the country with a little girl who isn't your daughter? You have fifteen seconds to come up with the truth or at the very least a reasonable sounding lie."

They said nothing. Ellie's heart pounded in her chest. What would this man do?

"Clock's ticking."

Ellie started counting down. Ten, nine, eight, seven,

"Give it up, people."

Six.

Five.

Four.

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

"Time's up."

He turned around, pistol in hand, and aimed at Joel, pulling back the hammer with a click.

"I'm immune!"

The man slowly turned his gaze toward Ellie, "What?"

"I said I'm immune."

He narrowed his eyes as he moved his pistol from Joel to Ellie.

"Talk."

Ellie looked at Joel, who nodded.

"Joel and Tess were supposed to smuggle me out of Boston for the Fireflies. We left Boston because the Fireflies said that I could help make a vaccine. They have a lab somewhere out west. Joel's brother used to be a Firefly, so he knows where they're supposed to be."

The man glared at her, then turned on Joel, aiming at his head, "What makes you think she's immune? For all I know, she was bitten yesterday and is making all this shit up."

Joel spoke, "Roll up her sleeve."

The man gave him a cold look before stomping over to Ellie. He yanked her sleeve up and studied the bite for a few moments before speaking, "I've never seen a bite that's not burning red with infection," he turned back to Joel, "So, can you verify her story?"

"Marlene asked us to smuggle her to the Capitol building to a crew of Fireflies. We showed up, but they were dead. Like Ellie said, the Fireflies are based someplace out west. So, Tess told me to take her to my brother's, 'cause he was a Firefly."

The man looked between the two of them, gun still trained on Joel, "So, let me get this straight. The kid's immune, so the Fireflies want to synthesize a vaccine from her? But you only know that they're 'out west' and so you're going all the way to Wyoming with the hopes that your brother is 1. alive, 2. able to tell you where the Fireflies' lab is, and 3. close to Wyoming? 'Out west' from Boston could mean Nebraska, for all you know."

"We ain't got much of a choice."

The man lowered his pistol and snorted, "Dumbasses. You're going into quarantine. Twelve hours. You'll get your switchblade back in the meantime. If either of you kill the other, or you kill yourselves, I'll know this story is bullshit. However, if you sit there quietly for the next day, I'll be…forced to concede the veracity of your statements."

He made a quick, curt nod, and suddenly Ellie was being pulled out of the chair by four strong hands. The pair was hauled into a meat locker, where they were unceremoniously dumped into the back. The man stood at the door and casually tossed Ellie's switchblade in, "Oh, don't try anything stupid like climbing through the air conditioner vent up there. I've got men waiting on the other side who'll shoot anything that pokes out," and with that, the man shut the door with a loud bang.

It was oppressively dark inside the meat locker.

"Joel, what are we gonna do? How do we get out of here?"

Nothing.

"Joel, we have got to get out of here!"

"We don't gotta do nothin'. We can't get out that way and there's bullets between us and the exit."

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Wait."

"What if he's lying?"

"Can't help it if he is."

Ellie was starting to panic. She hated the dark. There were always lights on in the quarantine zone. In darkness, she'd slept lightly, for fear of infected chewing on her in her sleep. She absolutely hated the dark.

"Joel, I don't like the dark."

"Me neither. Just try to think about something else."

"Joel, I hate the fucking dark. I really hate the fucking dark!"

Ellie's breathing accelerated and she felt her heart pounding in her chest, almost as if it wanted to get out. She couldn't breathe. She had to get out. She had to escape. The walls were closing in around her. They were going to crush her to death. She couldn't see them, couldn't trust them to stay in the same place.

"Ellie…"

"I can't breathe."

"Ellie?"

"I… I can't fucking breathe!"

"Ellie!"

She suddenly felt strong arms around her, holding her tight, and heard Joel's voice, "It's all right, Ellie, I gotcha. It's gonna be okay," Ellie kicked and squirmed. She was going to go blind, she had to escape. She wouldn't be able to see the infected when they came for her. They'd get her and tear her to pieces. She had to see, had to see them. Joel's voice cut through her panicked thoughts, "Just breathe slowly, in and out. In and out," Joel's hand rubbed her shoulder as he murmured into her ear, "It's gonna be all right, Ellie. It's gonna be all right. Just breathe slowly."

Ellie tried to concentrate on what he was telling her to do. Inhale, exhale. She focused solely on her breathing, inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Her breathing slowed and so did the hammering of her heart. It was dark, but she started to see. Four walls of grey metal, a seamless door, her switchblade on the floor, and an air conditioner stuck in the wall above them. She slowly extricated herself from Joel's arms, walked over, and picked up her switchblade.

"Joel, I… it just freaks me out when I can't see."

"Eyes adjust, it'll pass."

"I, uh…" Ellie wanted to tell him why the dark scared her so much. That it had been dark when the infected had attacked her and Riley the day they met, that Riley had died in a similar alley at night, that the subway station with all the clickers had been forever burned into her mind, that the night before Sam turned she just knew something was off and the morning after confirmed that. But she didn't have the courage, so she just said, "Thanks."

She sat opposite Joel, wondering how he could keep his cool in all this. His voice broke her train of thought.

"We should try to get some sleep."

"Why?"

"It's been weeks since we've had the chance to rest. We've got twelve hours, you don't have your joke book, and I'm all out of chit-chat. We might as well sleep up."

"Okay."

A thought popped into her head. She realized she'd broken one of the rules Joel had set from the beginning.

"I know you told me not to tell anyone that I was immune. I'm sorry."

"Well, considerin' he was gonna blow my head off if you didn't, I ain't too broke up about it."

Ellie lay down. The metal floor was cold and uncomfortable, but at least she had the chance to get some peaceful, quiet sleep. Hopefully, she wouldn't get any nightmares this time.

* * *

Ellie awoke to bright light and creaking metal hinges. Shadowy figures entered the meat locker and seized her by the arms. She started kicking and clawing, trying to get away, "Let go of me, dickhead!" she yelled as she floundered. She quickly realized she was back in the abandoned Burger Hut. Two men had grabbed her, and two more went inside the meat locker for Joel. Suddenly, a familiar, if unsettling, voice cut through the commotion.

"Goddammit!"

Suddenly, she was dropped on the ground as the two men who had grabbed her let her go and stood to attention. She saw the blonde-haired man step up to them, fire in his eyes.

"What were my orders?"

"To wake them up, sir!" one of the men replied.

"That's right, wake them up. Where in that particular phrasing did you get the idea that you were supposed to drag them out kicking and screaming?"

"Uh…"

"Where did you get that idea, private?!"

The other man who had grabbed Ellie spoke up, "That was me, sir."

"And why did you take that liberal interpretation of my orders, private?"

"Sir, quarantine is forty eight hours. I assumed you knew they were infected and wanted us to take them out and execute protocol."

The leader set his jaw, "Quarantine is however long I say it is, and for those two it was twelve hours."

"Sir, respectfully, a twelve hour quarantine is not sufficient for -"

The man in charge suddenly grabbed Ellie, hauled her to her feet, and yanked her sleeve up, "This bite has had time to actually heal. Do you not think that a _healed fucking bite wound_ means a shorter time to turn? Twelve hours was more than enough."

He let go of Ellie's wrist, "For fuck's sake, private, the next time you pull something like this, _you'll _be the next highway warning sign. Now get the fuck out of my sight."

Three of them turned to leave, but the one who the leader had berated refused to move, "No, sir."

The room went deathly silent. The other three men's eyes opened wide with terror. The bold man stood tall and straight eyeing the leader, who slowly turned back to him, fury burning in his eyes.

"Ellie, get behind me," Joel whispered, and Ellie complied, peeking out from behind his arm. The leader advanced on his subordinate.

"What?"

"I said no, sir."

The leader's voice became menacingly quiet, "I'm only giving you one chance to redact that statement, _Jerry_."

"I said no. The bitch is infected."

The man and his subordinate stood, staring eye to eye. The leader was the first to speak after a prolonged silence, "You questioned me in front of my men. You questioned me in front of outsiders. You know the punishment, don't you?"

The man drew a revolver from the back of his pants and slowly pulled the hammer back until it clicked, "Turn around, and get on your knees."

The subordinate tried to stare him down, "No. Look me in the eyes when you do it, coward."

The pistol smashed against the side of his head. Blood spattered against the floor as the petulant thug crumpled onto his hands and knees.

"Get him up," the leader said, and pointed to a nearby table, "Hold him down there."

The other three men sprang into action, grabbing the wounded man and pinning his hands against the tabletop and knocking him onto his knees. The leader put his revolver back, reached into his back pocket, and pulled a metal object out. It was a pair of pliers. He clicked the pliers together twice before slowly advancing on the kneeling man. The leader seized one of the man's fingers and placed the tip in the head of the pliers, gripping it tightly with the metal tool.

"Ellie, you don't want to look at this," Joel said quietly.

The leader looked at them, "Actually, you'll want to take a good, long look, because _this,_" he punctuated the word by squeezing the pliers hard, crushing the fingernail underneath, eliciting a scream of pain from the man he was torturing, "is what happens when you get flippant with me!" he then seized the tip of the nail with the pliers and slowly pulled, ignoring the screams from his subordinate. Moments later, the bloody nail came free with a sickening squelch, and then clattered onto the table as it was released. Blood oozed from the damaged finger.

"Holy shit," Ellie breathed, scarcely believing the horror she was witnessing.

"She doesn't need to see this!" Joel pleaded, but the man ignored him, placing a second finger into the pliers' head. Another scream filled the room as the leader crushed the second nail and then yanked it free from its finger. He casually dropped it next to the first. He placed a third fingertip into the pliers. He grabbed the man he was torturing by the hair and lifted his head from the table.

"You gonna apologize to them or am I gonna have to keep taking out nails?"

"Fuck you!"

"Wrong answer," he slammed the tortured man's head back on the table with a resounding thump.

The leader looked directly at Joel as he compressed the third fingertip in the pliers. The third nail broke with a nauseating crack. The man's screams slowly burned themselves into Ellie's mind as the leader seized the nail and tore it from the finger.

"You don't have to do this," Joel said, "We understand."

"Maybe _you_ do, but this guy doesn't, isn't that right Jerry?"

Jerry looked up, agony and anger etched on his face, "Burn in hell, you son of a bitch!"

The leader looked at Joel almost apologetically and shrugged, "What'd I tell ya?" he said and then proceeded to crush the next fingertip to another agonizing scream. He put the nail into the pliers.

"STOP!"

The word had come out of her mouth before Ellie even realized she was speaking. The leader looked up, his eyes meeting hers. She saw nothing but malice in behind the blue of his irises. He deliberately refused to break eye contact as he slowly pulled the nail out.

"Take him outside," he said to who his men, "You two. Stay put."

The men dragged the tortured man whimpering out the front door. He followed behind them, clicking the pliers menacingly, "We're not done yet, Jerry. There's a lot more we have to do," he reached for the service counter with his free hand and picked up a machete that was next to a cash register. The boarded up front door slammed behind them after they left. Ellie heard agonizing screams that lasted for a few minutes before it was suddenly cut short by a gunshot. The leader returned, alone, his hands, shirt, and face spattered with blood. He gestured to the table where Jerry was tortured and Ellie and Joel sat on one side.

"Fucking Jerry," the blood-soaked man muttered as he pulled up a chair and sat across from them, leaning back and placing a single foot on the table. Ellie was suddenly aware that she was sitting uncomfortably close to the dead man's removed fingernails. "Sorry about that…unpleasantness."

"That was unnecessary," said Joel.

"What was 'unnecessary' was the second chance I gave him. If you two weren't standing there, I probably would have done what I usually do."

"Which is?"

"Much worse."

The leader sat up and leaned forward, placing both feet on the ground, "I'm going to cut to the chase. I've cleared you from quarantine. That means you're free to go, on one condition."

"One condition?"

"Yeah. You see, there's an old military cache. Problem is, infected are all over it and, during the QZ's fall, the manifest was lost. I have a shit memory, so I don't remember what exactly was in there, _but_ I remember it was something or a number of things valuable enough that I might risk a supply raid. So I want you two to go in there and do a little housekeeping for me. All you have to do is get in there, take some stock, get back to me, and tell me what's there."

The leader reached behind his back and pulled out a folded map. He spread it out on the table.

"If my memory serves me correctly, it's an old vehicle depot. Preliminary reconnaissance has suggested as much. It's in a part of the city that's heavily infested. Most of what you'll be up against are Stage 3s, but we have no idea if there is an infected presence inside the depot itself," he pointed to a specific building on the map, "This is where the objective is located. You get there, take inventory, and come back; I'll get you a working vehicle that my people don't need and you can go on your way."

"That's mighty generous of you. But what happens if we decide not to?"

The leader chuckled humorlessly before gesturing to the removed nails next to Ellie, "Then both of you end up like Jerry."

"I guess we don't have much of a choice, do we?"

"Oh, you do have a choice."

"If you want to kill me, that's fine, but her? She's just a kid."

"She had a pistol and a knife on her when we caught you. That makes her a combatant."

"That's a pretty loose interpretation of that word."

"I really don't care what you think about the interpretation of _my own fucking protocol_," the man's eyes flashed dangerously, "You know how badly that goes."

Joel nodded silently, "Fine. We'll do it."

"Good," the leader pulled out a pencil and notepad and handed it to Joel, "I'll have my men return your gear and you'll be deployed at oh-nine-hundred. Also, don't try anything cute like running away. You stand to get a lot, but you stand to lose a great deal more. I always find who I'm looking for," folded up his map and put it away as he stood and started walking away.

"Wait," Ellie said, "What should we tell your guys when we come back? You have a name?"

The leader sighed, "When you come back, tell my men that you are to give your report to the soldier."

"'The soldier?'"

"You see any other soldiers on your way through my city?"

With that, he left, not even looking back.

* * *

**In the last chapter, I experimented with the possibility of another version of Pittsburgh where the people who lived in the city didn't just shoot people on sight. I also thought that some people who weren't associated with the military or the Fireflies in the contemporary might be on the lookout for people who are immune. This was the basis for the character that you see here. In case you need explanation, he's ex-military who came to rule over the ruins of the Chicago quarantine zone. I wanted to make him a believable person in the apocalypse in The Last of Us, someone who is essentially a dictator yet not entirely unreasonable. Someone who has a personality that isn't just "Oooh, I'm a villain, fear me." Perhaps the scariest thing about him and real people like him is that they command such authority that people will turn on their friends with the snap of their fingers.**

**Spoiler Alert: I will not reveal his name in this story. I will not capitalize his 'name' because titles in this world created by Naughty Dog are next to meaningless. Though the Fireflies are properly capitalized as a resistance movement, they are basically the only group in this universe that deserves the capitalization that comes with a proper noun, for they are an ideal as well as a group of people. Since the soldier is just a person, despite his menacing aura, he will not take the capitalization of a proper noun. He's not the Commander, he's not the King, he's not God. So he cannot be the Soldier. He's just the soldier.**

**On another note, the torture scene was specifically included because I wanted the soldier to be the kind of person that's willing to get their hands dirty and unwilling to let mistakes and failures slide. I originally wrote the dialogue before Jerry's subsequent torture and execution to me much longer and more involved, but when I showed it to my brother to see how he'd react, he said, "So the soldier doesn't stand for insubordination, right? Why is he letting this Jerry guy protest so much. I'd think he'd go straight for the jugular if someone were to talk back to him." He was right, so I cut it down to the bare minimum. **

**Another thing I noticed was the fact that, in The Last of Us, when Joel tortured people like Robert and the cannibal, he turned away and closed his eyes, like he knew what he was doing was going to be painful and just as bad for his psyche as well as the other's. In one respect, it means that Joel feels guilty about doing it even though he may feel like he has no choice. He'll look at them when they're talking, but when it comes to actually inflicting pain upon them, he'll refuse to look at either the victim or a person nearby. I hope I made it clear that the soldier has no such problems. **

**Also, the reason I have the soldier pulling out fingernails instead of any of the other myriad of ways one can inflict pain on another was because I thought, "What would be perhaps the most unsettling thing a young person could witness that hasn't already been shown in The Last of Us?" Then I remembered a scene from District 9 where the main character accidentally pulls off one of his fingernails at work and I remembered how it made me cringe. That became my answer. Then I had to ask myself what household tool could one use as a torture device on someone's fingernails? The answer was pliers. **

**The latter half of this chapter was hard to write because I have extreme empathy for physical pain. So creating this scene was difficult. I had to stand up and take a few breaks while writing, wringing my hands together and so forth.**

**Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you again with Chapter 7.**

**robertskycard**


	7. Chapter 7: Windy City (Part 3)

**Author's Note:**

**Due to a number of unforseen complications, I have restricted my posting schedule to once a week every Friday. This is so I can take the time to write, edit, and then publish longer, more complete chapters.**

* * *

Chapter 7: Windy City (Part 3)

"Radio me in three hours," Fredricks called to them as Ellie and Joel hopped out of the Humvee, "Otherwise I'll come looking for corpses!" he laughed as he pulled away. That truck, plus Fredricks' attitude, reminded Ellie of the truck in Pittsburgh, sans the gruesome 'warning' on the hood.

"I fucking hate that guy," Ellie said after he'd driven off.

"I know, but we ain't got the luxury of good company."

Joel started walking down the street, Ellie right behind him. They'd gone all but two steps when they heard it.

_Click! Click! Click!_

Joel grabbed Ellie by the shoulder and both pinned themselves against the front wall of the closest building they could find. The door beside them opened and a clicker shambled down the stoop and toward the street. More doors opened and more clickers came out onto the street, maybe a dozen or more, filling the air with their sounds. Ellie's heart hammered in her chest. She stood absolutely still, back pressed against the wall as much as she could, fearing her short, panicked breathing would alert them. She slowly turned her head to look at Joel. His eyes radiated the fear she felt.

"Why did they come out?" Ellie whispered.

"Truck drew 'em out. I got an idea," he whispered, "We are gonna shuffle slowly down to the corner and then we're gonna get inside somewhere, hole up, and get a real plan."

"There's so fucking many!" she hissed back.

"Just stay calm and follow my lead."

Joel bent down gradually until his fingers closed around a bottle. He stood back up and stepped forward, each movement so slow it was almost imperceptible until he was in a position to throw. The clickers continued to snap, snarl, and click along the street, waving their arms in front of them, searching for the truck that was no longer there. Joel let the bottle fly.

_CRASH!_

It went right through an open window across the street. The clickers shrieked and stormed the building, savagely swinging their arms about. Joel grabbed Ellie and both of them sped around the corner. Joel looked around and saw a hole in the wall to their right. He jumped up into it and reached down to Ellie. She jumped up and grabbed his hand and he pulled her in. They both lay on the wooden floor, panting, the clicking down the street reaching a fever pitch.

"Holy shit," Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, "That was too close."

"We ain't out of the woods yet."

Ellie got up and looked around. They were in a bedroom, decorated with flowery wallpaper that was smothered in posters of movies and bands. A _Dawn of the Wolf_ poster caught her eye. It was next to a framed poster of four, slender young men with the words "Halican Drops" on the bottom, above their heads were what she assumed were their names, written in permanent marker. The bed was made with flowery sheets, a number of cute stuffed animals seated around the pillow, and a mobile hung from the ceiling fan. Ellie remembered the words Joel had said about the movie poster in Pittsburgh.

"_It was a dumb teen movie._"

_"Who dragged you to see it?"_

_"It don't matter. Let's just stay focused, alright?"_

Ellie spoke, gesturing to the Halican Drops poster, "So, what's up with this poster?"

Joel had got to his feet, "That's a band, Ellie."

"Yeah, I know, but what's up with the scribbles above their heads?"

"That'd be signatures, Ellie. Sometimes, bands would wait after a concert and you could get stuff signed by 'em. T-shirts, posters, hats, that kinda stuff."

"Did you see this band?"

Joel flinched, "Got drug to see it, more like," he muttered, fiddling with his watch without even looking at it.

"Is this the mystery person who dragged you to see _Dawn of the Wolf_?"

Joel looked away, his expression hardening, "Let's get goin'," he quickly ducked out of the room, leaving Ellie bewildered. That watch had been broken the day she had met him, for a long time by the looks of it, and yet he never took it off. Ever. And any time she tried to press for information about it, or for information about the person who took him to 'dumb teen' things, he changed the subject to the task at hand.

She sighed, gave up, and followed after him. They made their way downstairs to the dining room below and sat down across from each other. Joel pulled out a map that Fredricks had given him. It was marked with the dropoff and rendezvous point and their destination. Joel poured over the map, brow knitted in concentration. He finally spoke after a prolonged silence.

"Here's my idea. We're only a few blocks from the depot, so we shimmy down the street, goin' nice and slow, and then when we get to the depot, we'll get in, do what we need to do, and get out."

"Okay."

* * *

Joel slowly approached the door that they'd observed on the map. He pulled out his bow, his signal for Ellie to draw her switchblade for stealth. He slowly peeked inside and then went in, ushering Ellie in before closing the door quietly. The two of them split up and searched the depot. Once Ellie was sure they were in the clear, she said, "There's nothing in this dump. What a gyp."

"Well, let's take stock, all the same," Joel muttered, returning his bow to his pack before pulling out a notepad and a pencil.

It was an old, abandoned garage occupied by a single truck, some equipment shelves, and a small office in the back. The office had nothing inside it save for a broken pair of scissors and pipes on the wall, which Joel used to fashion a weapon. On one side of the depot were large numbers of what Ellie thought were giant bullets, but then she remembered prep school at the Boston QZ and that these were ammunition for heavy artillery or tanks. The other side of the depot had a .50 caliber machine gun that sat alone on a rack. The inside of the truck revealed nothing save for ancient cigarette butts and a complete lack of fuel for it. Joel wrote everything down on the notepad and made his way toward the door. Ellie was seriously concerned.

"Is he gonna kill us?"

"Well, he said he'd let us go if we wrote a complete inventory. I've done that, so if he has issue with my findin's, he can come here his damn self."

"He's gonna kill us," Ellie sighed.

Joel popped the door open, "Come on, kiddo. We'll get out of this one way or another."

As he came forward, Ellie heard that clicking noise. That telltale shriek as the clicker sensed movement. Joel slammed the door back shut and the clicker that was on the other side began to mercilessly pound on the metal door.

"Back that way! Back that way!"

Ellie ran to the other door on the far side of the depot and wrenched it open. The alley was clear on both sides.

"We're clear!"

"Let's haul ass, come on!"

The pair of them ran to the corner. Joel peeked around then grabbed her. They ran back up the street toward the rendezvous point that was blocks away, followed by clicking, howls, and shrieks. Joel pulled out the hand-held radio the soldier's men had given him.

"This is the outsider recon team, we're heading for the rendezvous point but we're bein' chased by infected! We need immediate extraction!" he repeated the words that they'd told him.

"Roger that, we're coming in hot," came Fredricks' voice, "Standby for pick up."

Ellie's feet slammed on the pavement as she ran, hearing bare feet slapping the ground behind her, shrieks and clicks coming from all around. It was getting closer. She drew her pistol and fired over her shoulder. Joel did the same with his. They continued running, and quickly got to a point a block away from the rendezvous point. Ellie saw that the Humvee was nowhere to be found.

"Where the fuck's the truck?!"

As if called by her words, the Humvee came screaming around the corner. It spun so its passenger side doors faced the two of them. Ellie ran for the back seat as Joel ran for the front. She wrenched the door open, dove in, and was face to face with the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun. She ducked.

_BANG!_

The shot rang in her ears. He was yelling something, but she couldn't tell what. She felt the truck begin to move. She suddenly realized she wasn't dead and looked. She saw that a clicker was hanging onto the door, snapping its jaws and reaching inside. The man who had held the weapon that had almost killed her was fumbling for shogun shells as the truck started to pull forward. Ellie lifted her foot and kicked the clicker in the face, knocking it loose, before grabbing the door handle and slamming it shut. The tires of the truck screeched as it peeled away, infected chasing after it as it roared down the street to safety.

"Holy shit! That was intense!" Ellie panted, leaning against the seat, buckling in.

"You said it," came Joel's breathy reply as he tossed the hand-held radio back to the man who sat beside Ellie. Fredricks, in the driver's seat, looked back at the man.

"You almost blew her head off, you fucking moron!" Fredrick's snarled.

"Sorry, they were coming for me!"

"They were coming for me, too, but I didn't stick a gun in this guy's face!"

"Hey, man, I ain't drivin'!"

Fredricks pulled the truck to a stop, "How about you apologize to the girl before I haul you out of this truck and kick your scrawny little ass?"

The man sighed, "I'm sorry I nearly blew your head off."

"Good," Fredricks said as he put the truck in gear and resumed driving, "I'm surprised I'm even asking this, but did you at least hit the fucking thing?"

"No."

"The fuck you mean, 'no'?"

"I missed, dammit!"

"It's a shotgun, how the fuck did you miss at point blank range with buckshot? Did you shoot the roof?"

"I was loaded with slugs!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Next time, shake your damn shells before putting them in your gun or, you know, look."

They drove in silence, and then a few moments later, Fredricks pulled out his radio, "This is Fredricks. We have the ORT, returning to base, all parties accounted for."

Ellie gave the man in the back seat a confused look, "Stands for 'outsider recon team'," he muttered.

The soldier's voice crackled over the radio, "Does the ORT have the package?"

Joel waved the notepad at Fredricks.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Send them to my office, but execute possible bite protocol on the old man."

"Roger that."

He turned to Joel, "Lift up your shirt and roll up your sleeves."

"He isn't bit," Ellie said, "I swear."

Fredricks ignored her. Joel did as he was told. No bites.

"Good. We'll be back in a couple of minutes, just sit tight."

* * *

**I was originally intending to skip this scene in it's entirety, but I very quickly realized that a paragraph or two explanation as to what happened not only defeated the tension from the soldier's threat and the dangerous situation Ellie and Joel were about to be put in, but also cheapened the next chapter as a result.**

**Special shout out to the people who have viewed, reviewed, favorited, and followed this fic! You guys are awesome and I appreciate your support and your comments.**

**robertskycard**


	8. Chapter 8: Exodus

**Author's Note:**

**I've been having some distraction problems. It mostly goes like this with the two parts of my psyche on my shoulder.**

** Angel: _Titanfall_ is way too addictive. You really need to stop, it's putting you behind, and you'll disappoint the followers you have.**

**Me: Okay, after I take the trash out, I'll go do some work on _I'm Not Letting You Go_.**

**Devil: But duuuude! It's got giant robots!**

**Me: You have a point there.**

**Angel: Come on, it's a videogame. It can wait. There are people out there who need you to focus.**

**Me: That's true. I should go do my work now, and then I'll post the next chapter.**

**Devil: You know, you can run on walls and punch people out of their giant robots! You can't do that sitting down and staring at your computer and typing exposition.**

**Angel: You'll disappoint yourself if you go do that. You can play _Titanfall_ after you're done with your fic.**

**Devil: That'll take hours of energy which you don't usually have. Did I forget to mention that you can jump on the robots and blow them up by shooting the interior?**

**As it turns out, the devil is usually more persistant. Even as I'm writing this now, it's poking me, saying, "Come on, man, do that thing where you get your robot almost destroyed and then aggressively use the explosion to vaporize people."**

**It's nothing short of maddening.**

* * *

Chapter 8: Exodus

"We're supposed to give this to the soldier," Joel held out the notepad he'd written on.

"You the ORT, right? Heard about that," the gruff guard said as he took the notepad from Joel, "You find anything good?"

"Doubt it. Mostly military hardware, nothin' I found useful."

The man nodded as he looked at the 'manifest' Joel had drawn up. His eyes bugged, "Holy shit," he breathed before looking at Joel, "Is this…is this accurate?"

"I certainly hope so."

The soldier's guard smiled broadly, "Holy shit! You found the Holy fucking Grail."

Ellie exchanged a perplexed look with Joel.

"Holy Grail? Really? There wasn't anything useful, like, at all," Ellie pointed out, but the guard kept smiling.

"Man, he's going to give you so much shit, I'm jealous already!"

Ellie looked at Joel, even more confused, hoping her guardian could answer her unvoiced question. The soldier didn't seem the type to be generous in any way, shape, or form. Joel's quizzical eyebrow was the only response she got, save for, "Well, let's go see the man."

The soldier's guard seemed to be almost bouncing with delight, positively reassuring them that the soldier would be just as excited as he was. A few minutes later, Joel and Ellie stood behind the man as he handed the report to the soldier, who was sitting behind an office desk with his feet crossed upon it, putting away a thick, old book.

"Sir, we hit a fucking gold mine!"

"Really?" the soldier muttered sarcastically as he took the notepad and looked it over.

"Yes, sir! The outsider recon team wrote this up and they swear that's what they found!"

The soldier's reaction proved a little more skeptical when he stood up, stepped around his desk, and leaned back against it, mulling over the notepad. He turned to Joel, "You completely sure that's what you found?"

"We ain't got a reason to lie about it."

"Not what I asked."

"Other than this here pipe, that's what I found," Joel gestured to pipe on his back and then the notepad.

The soldier looked him over before grinning, "Then congratulations, folks, you just won the jackpot," he turned toward his guard, "Tell everyone to gear up. Full supply raid on the Baker St. Depot."

The guard smiled broadly before saluting, "Yes, sir!" he bounded away. The soldier turned back to Joel.

"You two, come with me. I've got something to show you."

* * *

A few minutes later, Ellie stared in awe at the bright red sports car in the soldier's vehicle depot. Even Joel seemed surprised. Someone had put in time to keep it not only running smoothly, but properly waxed and cleaned. It appeared as if it had just been driven off the lot. Ellie had no idea what that meant, but it reminded her of advertisements she'd seen for vehicles like this. It looked fresh. New, "There's no way he's going to give us this," Ellie thought, "It's too fucking cool."

"That, right there, is your chariot to freedom," the soldier chuckled as he pointed it out, "In terms of monetary value, it's probably worth more than all the other cars on the street combined, but since currency is useless nowadays, that car's worth whatever _I_ say it is," the soldier turned to them, "Look at you two, jaws on the floor. I bet this is like looking at a space ship. Can't fucking believe it's real, yet here it is, green aliens and all."

'Space ship' was right. Ellie let the shock dissipate before springing into action, "I get to drive first!"

"Nuh-uh, little lady, you're gettin' shotgun."

The soldier held up his hand, "Hold on a minute, there's something I gotta show you. Maybe then you'll understand why I'm giving you what might as well be a rocket ship in this day and age," he meandered over to where a massive tarp was draped over something huge. He gave it a tug and the tarp came free. It was a tank.

"Holy shit," Ellie whispered. She'd seen them in the quarantine zone, but they either never worked or they were in storage at a military depot. The soldier climbed on top of it and stood proudly, hand placed on the barrel of the main cannon.

"Now, if this doesn't make your dick stiff, I don't know what will."

"Does it run?" Joel asked.

"Hell yeah, it runs. It didn't' have ammo, but it runs. But, thanks to you, now it can shoot, too," he patted the barrel once before jumping back down, "We did find some .50 cal ammo, but with nothing to shoot it with, we almost threw it out," he looked back at the tank, "God, if we strapped that thing up there on the hatch, we'd be back to the good old days. I used to be the gunner on that tank right there."

He turned back to them and grinned, "You two got my tank operational. I'd say that's worth a sports car, a new battery, and some gas. Besides, all the shit that's useful to me runs on diesel," he strode over to a shelf behind him and pulled out a backpack, tossing it to Joel. It appeared weighted down with a lot of heavy cans that clanked together, "Also, here's some food, about a week's supply for two people if they're hearty eaters."

"I, uh," Joel said, scratching the back of his head, "I don't know what to say."

"How about, 'Thanks, now I'm gonna go cure the CBI and restore hope to humanity?'"

Joel and Ellie both smiled, "Yeah, that sounds appropriate."

"Good. Then get your asses in gear."

* * *

"WOOHOO!" Ellie screamed as she stood out of the sun roof, hands in the air, letting the wind buffet her, "I'M QUEEN OF THE FUCKING WORLD!"

"Ellie, get down, you're gonna eat a bug if you keep doin' that," Joel chuckled as he drove. Ellie ignored him, continuing to shout her excitement from the sunroof.

"BOOYEAH! WHO'S GOT A SPACE SHIP?! WE DO! WE -" suddenly something scaly and hard smacked her in the face. She fell down and landed in her seat, "Ow! Son of a bitch!" She rubbed her cheek and her hand came away with green, slimy goop and insect legs, "Gross!"

"That's a grasshopper, kiddo," Joel grinned, "You're lucky it didn't get in your mouth. That's when it really sucks. Learnt that the hard way."

"Your motor bike trip with Tommy?" Ellie continued to clean her face.

"Yep! First day, we decided we didn't need helmets. We're ridin' down the highway when I start jawin' off to Tommy and a big ol' grasshopper flies in my mouth. Damn near choked to death on it."

"That's gross!"

"First stop we went to, we bought some helmets with big, thick visors. No bug trouble after that," Joel started to laugh, "Though this one time…" he trailed off, "What the hell is…oh, God," he became deathly quiet, slowing the car to a stop.

"Joel, what's…?" Ellie turned to look out the windshield. What she saw made her shiver. There was a pile of skeletons, all wearing Firefly uniforms. The highway lane they clogged was covered in bloody drag marks and dried stains of brown. The sign under which the corpses laid had been painted white, with lettering written in dried, brown blood upon it, bodies hanging underneath.

It said, "HERE LIES THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO DENIED CHICAGO'S SOVEREIGNTY," above this lettering was an arrow pointing upwards and a single word beside it, "USURPER"

Atop the sign was a single spike with a severed head upon it, the decapitated body hung by its ankles below. Ellie put a hand to her mouth, trying to hold back the bile that threatened to come up. Joel put the car in gear and drove away, the sign and the bodies quickly disappearing over the horizon.

"That was sick! Who would do that to a bunch of people?" she suddenly realized who and it made her heart thump in her chest with fear, "Oh my god. We dodged a bullet, didn't we?"

"Yes we did, Ellie. Yes we did."

* * *

"Those were Fireflies," Ellie mumbled as she watched Joel working in the engine of the sports car. The vehicle had unfortunately been short-lived.

"Say what now?" Joel looked over his shoulder back at her, hands greasy and black with grime.

"Back on the highway. Under the billboard. Those were Fireflies."

Joel returned to his work, nodding grimly, "They sure were."

"Did the soldier guy have a stick up his ass about Fireflies?"

"Best not to dwell on it."

Anger suddenly flooded through Ellie's veins. She grabbed Joel's shoulder roughly. He looked back at her, "What is it? I'm tryin' to get this fixed so we can get to Wyoming before winter."

"He killed a bunch of Fireflies and put their bodies up as a warning. At every place we've been to, the Fireflies we've found have been dead for a long, long time. How do we know that there are even any Fireflies left?"

Joel looked her in the eye, "Tell me, how many close calls have we had with people?"

"A shitload, why?"

"How many times did they hold us up?"

Ellie pondered for a few seconds before answering, "Just the once."

"And what did the soldier tell Fredricks over the radio?"

Ellie thought about it for a moment when a lightbulb went off. The order had been to describe her and Joel. She suddenly realized what he was thinking, "Wait, you think the Fireflies tipped them off about us?"

Joel nodded, "If only to save themselves."

Ellie then thought of something else, "Do you think it saved them?"

Joel said nothing, but his look confirmed her suspicions, "Maybe it saved some of them," she mumbled hopefully.

"Maybe. Or maybe not."

"I hope it was quick, at least."

Joel turned back to the car's engine, pulling a socket wrench out of the toolbox they'd found conveniently placed in the front seat, "One can dream," he muttered, returning to work, "You want to make yourself useful and siphon some gas?"

Ellie reached into the car and pulled out the spare gas tank and the hose. She looked around. There was nothing but flat land on either side of the road for miles, and only a few cars a short distance away, jumbled in a wreck. Joel continued to tinker with the sports car's engine. She walked over to another car and popped open the gas tank. She sniffed. Nothing. She peeked inside the husk of the vehicle. The seats were empty. She opened the door and looked through the vehicle, searching for supplies of any sort. She found nothing. All the while, her mind replayed the pile of corpses, the warning sign, and the severed head at the very top, impaled by a spike. A thought popped into her head. What if Chicago had been the city that Riley was supposed to go to, to help the Fireflies there? No, the bodies were too old, too skeletal. But she couldn't help but picture Riley, gun placed at the side of her head, blood spraying out the other side, a gunshot ringing in Ellie's ears.

A hand touched her shoulder.

"JESUS!" she turned around, startled. It was Joel.

"I got the car runnin'," He gave her a perplexed look, "You alright?"

"Yeah," she lied, climbing back out of the car, "You just scared me, that's all," she looked up at him and knew right away that he caught her bull.

"Look, if it's about Chicago -"

"I don't wanna talk about Chicago anymore," Ellie surprised even herself with that statement. She was usually the one who wanted to talk about things, even if they were traumatic in nature. She decided, to but Joel at ease at least, to reveal some of her concerns.

"What if Marlene left Boston to find us and got caught in Chicago?"

"Ellie…"

"That was a _ton_ of dead Fireflies on that highway. For fuck's sake, he put one of their heads up on a spike! Normal people don't fucking do that. Marlene's my friend, Joel. What if she got caught in Chicago and he did to her what he did to that 'usurper' guy? It's…fucking me up."

Joel knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder, "Look, ain't nothin' we can do about that now. For all we know, she thinks you're with the crew from the capitol building back in Boston. I bet she's fine."

Ellie shook her head, "You don't really believe that."

Joel stood back up, "Ain't nothin' wrong with a little hope. Come on. Let's get goin'."

* * *

**Considering that every working vehicle in _The Last of Us_ that Joel and Ellie encounter are trucks, vans, and other cargo hauling vehicles, mostly due to their durability, a sports car in good working order would be rare, to say the least. ****Any vehicle in this universe would be valued for it's utility, not for it's looks, and a sports car isn't designed for the rough terrain of a world where the infrastructure is crumbling due to a lack of maintenance, especially this long after the collapse of contemporary civilization. A much more useful vehicle would be, say, a jeep or a pair of ATVs. However, a**** well maintained sports car would be, as the soldier said, like a space ship to Ellie, something almost completely alien yet desirable at the same time due to its extreme rarity and it's reflection of a society she only knows snippets about. Joel, having lived before the infection hit as a lower-class citizen, would also find the vehicle desirable, if only because it's much faster than walking and especially because he very likely couldn't afford one before the outbreak.**

**Thank you for reading, and I shall see you at Chapter 9**

**robertskycard**


	9. Chapter 9: Home

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry for this one being so short, but now that the novelty of _Titanfall_ has worn off a little, I can get back to writing in earnest.**

* * *

Chapter 9: Home

(Early May, Road to Jackson)

Ellie traced the bite scar on her arm. There were incisions, redness, where fresh cuts had healed. Samples maybe, she thought. The doctors took samples to see if she was immune. It was true, most likely. They'd only known that she hadn't turned in Boston. Where was Marlene? Was she dead? Was she alive? It didn't matter. She was gone, regardless. Joel's footsteps broke Ellie's concentration. She pulled her sleeve back down over the bite and looked up. Joel rubbed his hands together to clean them. Their vehicle had broken down, but there wasn't much road left anyway.

"Well, looks like we're walkin'."

Ellie hopped out of the van and shut the door, harder than she intended, but Joel didn't notice. She looked out over the river valley. It was beautiful and serene, perfect for a postcard, but Ellie didn't even notice. She walked behind Joel.

"Should be a straight shot through here," he gestured to the nearby barbed wire fence.

"Alright."

She could tell he was trying to ignore her dead sounding tone, but it was getting to him. He tried to get her to talk more.

"Actually kind of pretty, ain't it?"

"Yeah," she mumbled. She saw the road sign that indicated how far Jackson City was from them. Painted over it in yellow, was the Firefly symbol accompanied with "Look for the Light". She shook her head. She'd found it, but she'd lost it.

Joel pulled the fence open. Ellie stepped through almost mechanically. She didn't even know why she was helping him.

"Alright. Now watch your head going through."

Ellie got through and took the barbed wire in her hands, putting her foot down on the other, "Here. Got it."

Joel squeezed through, groaning, "Feelin' my age, now," he started to jog through the brush. Ellie remembered the Capitol Building, almost a year ago, but it seemed like millennia ago, "Home stretch, Tess," he'd said. In PT at prep school, Ellie had always heard the drill sergeants snarl about 'finishing strong.' It was as if Joel was in a hurry to get to the end, whereas Ellie now had all the time in the world. She walked slowly, looking through the trees, the flowers, the sunlight beaming down on her. In any other circumstances, she would have been floored by the view. Now, she just felt empty. The deaths of Tess, Sam, and Riley. All for nothing.

"Don't think I ever told you but, uh, Sarah and I used to take hikes like this. I think ah...I think the two of you would've been…would've been good friends. I think you would've like her. I know she'd a liked you."

He was trying to be honest and comforting. It didn't help Ellie's mood, "I bet I would've," she murmured.

Joel climbed over a log and up over tall rocks and layers of soil, roots protruding from them. Ellie followed.

"Wow. Look down there."

Jackson lay in a valley, surrounded by mountains. Joel jogged down-hill and crossed the nearby stream on the rocks. Ellie lagged behind, thoughts racing. She could go back, make her way all the way back to Salt Lake City, and atone for her failures, her mistakes, and redeem herself for the deaths of her friends and loved ones. Joel climbed on a log and pulled himself up. The log broke under him, but he got up.

"Shit," he muttered as he got to his feet.

They were truly separated. She could leave now and he wouldn't be able to stop her. All she had to do was turn around and walk away. He wasn't even looking. All she had to do was walk away. It would be that easy.

She couldn't.

Ellie climbed up onto the log. Joel turned around and reached down to pull her up, "Here, I got ya."

Ellie took his hand and he pulled her up. She got to her feet as he started to turn, "Alright, come on," he said as he turned away.

Ellie grabbed her ring finger, "Hey, wait," she had to tell him. She had to tell him why she had wanted to go to the Fireflies in the first place. Why her journey couldn't stop. He turned back and looked at her. She looked away, toying with her fingers. How could she tell him? Why should she tell him? Would he turn around and take her back?

Ellie turned away, breathing out a sigh, not sure where to begin. She finally turned back to him, letting go of her hands. She knew how to say it, "Back in Boston," she paused, "Back when I was bitten, I wasn't alone," she didn't know how to refer to Riley, but decided to go with how they'd always been before their shared bite, "My best friend was there. And she got bit, too. We didn't know what to do. So…"

She remembered the words Riley had said to her clearly. Every single word. She could recite Riley's entire speech by heart, "She says, 'Let's just wait it out. You know, we can be all poetic and just lose our minds together.'"

Ellie felt her throat quavering, but she had to continue. She had to be honest with Joel, "I'm still waiting for my turn."

"Ellie…" Joel's look of concern nearly broke her there, but she wouldn't stop. She couldn't. He had to know.

"Her name was Riley, and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam."

"None of that is on you."

"No, you don't understand…" their deaths were caused by being bitten. She was the key to a vaccine. She remembered her anger, her sadness, her frustration when she and Riley had been bitten, and her grief when Riley perished. She remembered the tears in Tess's eyes as she showed Joel her bite. She remembered Henry's quavering voice after he'd shot the infected Sam, the subsequent gunshot that took his own life. There were more people out there. A vaccine could prevent more people from going through that agony. Even if Ellie died in the process, it was worth it to save everyone else. But Joel spoke before she could continue.

"I struggled for a long time with survivin'," he looked her in the eye, and she knew that what he said was true. She saw the pain and the loss, all twenty years that had turned him into the Joel she knew. He looked away, "And you…" his hand went to his watch. His broken watch. Ellie finally connected the dots. It wasn't just a watch. It was his memento of Sarah. It was his version of Riley's pendant. His motivation. He continued, "No matter what, you keep findin' somethin' to fight for."

Ellie puffed out air out of her nose and looked away. He wouldn't relent. He wouldn't let her go back. She'd have to force the issue.

"Now, I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but it's -"

"Swear to me."

She looked him dead in the eyes. It had caught him off guard.

"Swear to me that _everything _that you said about the Fireflies is true."

She wasn't really telling him to swear the truth about the Fireflies. She wanted to know if he was willing to lie to her, to hurt her in order to keep her safe. To keep her alive. She wanted to know that living was enough for him. For herself. For Tess. For Sam.

For Riley.

Joel looked her in the eyes right back.

"I swear."

He stuck to his guns. He was willing to hurt her to keep her safe. Riley had done that in her last act. In that moment, Ellie realized something. Joel loved her. Not as Riley had loved her, but as Joel had loved Sarah. As her mother had loved her. He was willing to do anything for her. Then she realized something else.

Had the situation been switched, she'd have done the same thing. For both Joel and Riley. Riley's words had been 'fight for me.' Now she knew what that truly meant.

She stayed silent, processing her choices. There was still time. To go back to Salt Lake City. To go to the Fireflies. To save the world.

She didn't need to anymore.

"Okay."

* * *

**First of all, I intentionally skipped the rest of the game and if you stick with me, you will find out why.**

**I saw a panel with Ashley Johnson and Troy Baker. Ashley said something to the effect of, "Ellie has a good bullshit detector." I, for one, agreed wholeheartedly with this sentiment when I went through _The Last of Us_ back in June 2013 when it came out. I thought, if Ellie knew Joel was full of it, why would she ask him if he's telling the truth? She knows he's a man who usually sticks to his guns, whether they're lies or honesty. So why would she tell him to swear to her? **

**Then, I played _Left Behind_. That's when it, as well as a number of the other emotional scenes in _The Last of Us,_ clicked in my head. She's not asking him to tell her the truth. She's testing him, seeing how far he'd go to protect her. Hurting a stranger to protect a friend or a loved one is hard, but not impassable. You can justify it relatively easily, and you can eventually work it out. Hurting a loved one, however, especially to protect them, is much harder. When I finally understood that, it made me cry at the ending. I have not seen the ending since without crying. **

**Whereas most DLCs just add to the story or give you extra skins, weapons, or other minor things like that, ****_Left Behind_ really changed my whole perspective on _The Last of Us._  
**

**Thank you for reading, and I shall see you at Chapter 10**

**robertskycard**


	10. Chapter 10: The Contest

**Author's Note:**

**I felt guilty for posting such a short chapter when I have a lot more written up, so here's some more. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 10: Contests

"Hey, freak!" Marcus hooted from across the mess hall as Ellie sat down in her corner.

"Fuck off!" She snarled back. She looked at her tray of food. She'd been in Jackson for a week and she already disliked eating in the mess hall. Most people were kind to her or just gave her a wide berth because of her immunity, but Marcus and his two goons, Travis and Neil, harassed her every day.

Marcus was fifteen years old, tall, skinny, but he had some muscle. His hair was brown. He actually reminded her of a young Joel without the muscle or the height that came with full adulthood. Travis was also fifteen, but he was a good head taller than Marcus, with broad shoulders and a lot of muscle, but little to no brains compared to Marcus. He kept his head shaved and wore a hoodie half the time with the hood over his head. Neil was fourteen, as short as Ellie, and extremely wiry. He always wore a beanie on his head. He was actually the quietest of the three because he was the smartest. Why Marcus seemed to be in charge of them made Ellie wonder how they had actually made it this long.

"Hey!" Came Travis's voice, "Sprout! You want us to call you sprout instead?"

"I said fuck off!" Ellie growled before angrily shoving a potato chunk in her mouth. Much to her chagrin, they pulled away from their table and came over to hers. It was just like at military prep. Marcus and Travis sat across from her and Neil sat uncomfortably close to her.

"Well, that's not polite, is it?"

"Don't care. Fuck off."

The three boys made a collective, mocking "Oooh," before Marcus spoke.

"You gonna cry, freak? You gonna cry?"

"No. Fuck off."

"How about orphan? How about we call you orphan?"

That hit a sore spot. Ellie stood up, fork in hand, and pinned Marcus's sleeve to the table with a savage stab, "I should stomp your fucking balls!"

Neil grabbed her by the shoulders, "Get over here, you little -"

Ellie spun out of his grip and smashed Neil's face with her fist, sending him sprawling. Marcus wrenched the fork out of his sleeve and stood up, ready to fight. Travis stood and reached over, but Ellie's switchblade slashed at his hand. Neil stood up, holding his face, and the three of them backed away slowly.

"I SAID FUCK OFF!" Ellie roared.

"HEY!"

The four of them turned to see a woman in a blue ballcap advancing on them, "What the hell is going on here?"

"She's trying to kill us!" Marcus blurted, and his goons nodded vehemently.

"Uh huh," the woman stopped and stood, fists pressed against her hips, "And what if I told you that _that's_ because you've been giving her shit since she got here?"

"Oh come on, we were just joking around."

"Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England," the woman snorted.

"Well, she still can't pull a knife on us!" Travis pleaded.

"Considering that she's been out _there_ for almost a year, I'd say she let you off with a warning by pulling the knife. If three guys like you came after _me_ like you did with her, there'd be three funerals. Now, she asked you politely to leave. I suggest that you do that right now."

As the three boys turned away, Neil glared at Ellie and muttered, "This isn't over, bitch."

The woman's face twitched with anger, "Get back here! Now!"

The three boys grudgingly returned. The woman continued, "This shit is going to end right now. How about we have a shooting contest? If you win, you get to keep harassing her until she eventually chops your balls off. If Ellie and I win, you back off and don't come near her again unless you're willing to play nice."

Marcus puffed up his chest, "Or what? You gonna tell Maria?"

The woman's grin was almost pure evil, "Nope. I'll tell Joel."

The color drained from their faces. Joel had a bit of a reputation in Jackson, and the thought of him making those dumbass thugs shit their pants made her smile. Marcus summoned as much courage as he could muster, "Fine. We'll do it your way. Just remember that if we win, we get our way."

"Fine."

They turned and left. Ellie turned to the woman, "What if we lose?"

"We won't."

"But what if we do?"

"Then I'll tell Maria, she'll bring the hammer down, and this whole problem will sort itself out. But you could neuter them if you wanted first. I'd back you up," the woman put a hand on Ellie's shoulder, "Come on. Shooting range is this way."

* * *

"You ready to do this?" Marcus sneered.

"First off, ground rules," the woman said, holding her rifle pointed toward the ground, "No sabotage and no fucking around with the guns. We need them in top condition for watch duty. No horseplay either. We don't want a trip to the infirmary or worse."

Marcus and his lackeys solemnly nodded.

"Alright, here are the rules for competition," the woman stood and set her rifle against the fence before pointing out to the target boards, "Bull's-eye is ten. Inner ring is eight. Middle ring is four. Outer ring is 1. Miss is zero. Each shooter gets three shots. Two teams of two people. Each team gets a shot per person before the other team goes. That means you three are gonna have to sit out one of your guys. If you're smart, it better be your worst shot who sits out."

Neil spoke up, "I'll sit out. I can't shoot as well as my boys."

"Okay, then. Any questions before we start?" They shook their heads, "Alright, you two start first."

"You're going down," Marcus grinned before picking up his rifle. He stood tall, placed the rifle's stock into his shoulder, took aim, and fired. The bullet pinged off the target on the outer ring, "Fuck!"

"He didn't adjust for windage," the woman whispered in Ellie's ear, "He didn't rest the rifle on the fence, either."

Ellie had noticed both of these and nodded as Marcus stepped back and Travis took his place. His shot didn't fare better either. In fact, it missed entirely. The woman stepped up and knelt down, taking aim, barrel of the rifle resting on the fence.

"What the hell is she doing?" Marcus murmured, but the woman ignored him. She was still for a few moments, and when she finally took the shot, it startled everyone. Ellie looked at the metal target. It was a perfect bull's-eye.

"Holy shit!" Ellie breathed. The woman stood, gave Ellie a look and shrugged as if to say, "_What'd I tell ya?_" before giving up her spot for Ellie. Ellie took her place. She aimed a little to the right of the target, as the wind was coming from the right. She squeezed the trigger. Bull's-eye.

"What?!" Marcus snarled, "There's no fucking way that the freak is that good a shot!"

Ellie stood up and turned to him, grinning, "That's 'cause when you were spending all your time whacking off in here all winter, I was out hunting food to keep myself alive! Maybe _you_ shouldn't be on watch duty. But hey, you've got two more shots."

Marcus growled as he took his place. His next shot went wide, not even hitting the target at all, "Motherfucker!" he tossed his rifle to Neil before angrily sitting down next to him.

"You want to concede now before we hand you your asses on a silver platter?" Ellie smirked at them.

"Oh, fuck you," Travis said before taking aim. His next shot actually hit the inner ring, but Ellie and the woman basically had to shoot the ground in order to lose.

The woman said nothing, just taking her sweet time before executing another, perfect bull's-eye. Ellie took her next shot. It hit the inner circle. Ellie turned to them, "Even if you both got bull's-eye's in the next round and we missed completely, there's no way you'd win."

Travis and Neil looked to Marcus, who grumbled and swore under his breath. He gave a nod to his goons before muttering, "Fine. You win. We won't fuck with you again."

"Good, I'll hold you to that," the woman said, standing, "Now, why don't you three brush up on target practice while Ellie and I have a little lunch?"

They grumbled but did as they were told, taking their rifles and starting to practice at the range as Ellie and the woman walked away.

"We showed them, huh?" Ellie looked up at the woman, who smiled down at her.

"Yes, we did, but more importantly we got them off your backs and doing something useful for a change."

"I didn't catch your name."

"Amanda. Nice to meet you, Ellie," she said before patting Ellie on the head, "I think we're going to get along just fine.

* * *

A week later, Ellie sat in the mess hall again, eating, when she saw a shadow pass over her tray. She looked up. It was Marcus, alone. Behind him, Amanda was moving to get up, but Ellie's look made her stay down. Ellie knew she had to handle this alone.

"What do you want, Marcus?"

Marcus didn't have his customary sneer or an angry expression. He looked nervous, "I…I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that I was dick when you first showed up."

Ellie was unsure how to respond, but Marcus continued, "I guess I was just jealous that some new kid showed up and had special treatment, you know, getting to be in a watch tower, eat with the grownup table, that kind of stuff. Then…well…I turned sixteen yesterday and just got off my first shift an hour ago. I didn't know about how tough it is."

Ellie considered his apology for a few moments, "Apology accepted."

Marcus turned to leave, but then stopped, "Look, uh… we got off on the wrong foot. Do you want to restart?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, maybe we could do dinner or take watch together or something?"

Ellie suddenly realized what was going on, "You like me, don't you?"

"What?"

"You've got a crush on me and you're asking me out, aren't you? That's what this is about, isn't it?"

Marcus stared at the floor, "Not…not all of it. I'm seriously sorry I was a dick," he mumbled.

His words made Ellie giggle a little, and he smiled a genuine smile. Ellie was flattered, but she had to tell him why she wouldn't ever date him, "Look, that'd be nice and all, but…I'm into chicks."

"Seriously?" He looked shocked

"Yep."

"So…you're…"

"Yep."

He was taken aback, "Um…wow…I've got to process this," He returned to his seat by Travis and Neil. Ellie strained to listen.

"She your girlfriend now?" Neil sneered.

"Oooh! Marcus's got a girlfriend!" Travis said as he jabbed Marcus in the rib.

"Man, fuck off," Marcus growled, stirring his food.

Ellie couldn't help but smile a little. Amanda sat beside her.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing. He apologized for being a dick."

"Uh-huh. Why are you grinning like you just won the lottery?"

"He just asked me out."

Amanda suppressed a snort of laughter, "Really? That's ballsy."

Ellie chuckled, "Yeah, I suppose that is."

"You shoot him down?"

"Gently."

"Can't ever be gentle, that's why it's called 'shot down'."

"Well, then I shot his plane down, but he landed safely."

"So, no harm, no foul?"

"No harm, no foul."

Amanda patted her shoulder, "Good. I'll see you at watch tomorrow."

"Amanda?"

"Yeah?"

"What's the lottery?"

* * *

**I was bullied as a kid, and the one thing I always really wanted to happen was for someone to step in and help me out, specifically an outside party. It didn't usually mean much for my brother or my parent to step in, because then I was just called a coward as well as a weirdo. But if an adult or an authority figure came in and told the bullies to knock that crap off, I appreciated it a lot. Unfortunately, that never happened and I ended up transferring out because nobody told them it was unacceptable behavior. **

**Also, this is the first time we see Amanda, and we're going to see a lot more of her. She's loosely based on the woman in one of the conversations you can miss at Tommy's Dam. **

**Thank you for reading, and I shall see you at Chapter 11**

**robertskycard**


	11. Chapter 11: Burial

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter contains young adult masturbation. You have been warned. **

* * *

Chapter 11: Burial

Ellie tinkered with her Walkman in the mess hall. Her prized possession had stopped working in Pittsburgh. She'd pressed the buds into her ears, pressed play, and nothing. No sound, no music, no Etta James. She'd been with Sam, Henry, and Joel in the little room the evening before their escape. She had angrily tapped on the buttons, hoping to bring life back into the device, but nothing happened. She had decided that the problem must be that the batteries were dead. She'd been on the hunt for them until the University, where she had found some, placed them in the Walkman, pressed play, and again was treated to a distinct lack of music. It was official. The Walkman was broken.

Now, in Jackson, she had a screwdriver and was carefully taking the machine apart, face screwed up in concentration. She was no expert in machinery, but she had to try. _That or permanently break it,_ she thought.

"Hey, whatcha doin'?"

"JESUS!"

Ellie jumped out of her skin, the screwdriver skittering across the table and onto the floor. She turned around, angry, and saw a girl standing behind her, wearing dirty old jeans and a zip-up hoodie. She was about a head taller than Ellie. She had shoulder length, jet black hair, parted down the middle, matching her dark eyes, yet contrasting with her pale skin. She was maybe sixteen years old. She was astoundingly pretty, Ellie thought. However, that didn't stop her from saying what she said next.

"You scared the shit outta me!"

"Sorry," the girl shrugged sheepishly, "I'm sneaky like that. So whatcha doin'?"

Ellie got up, went over to where her screwdriver fell, snatched it up, returned to her seat, and resumed her work, "I'm trying to fix my Walkman," the girl sat across from her.

"You know what's wrong with it?"

"It's not battery problems, that's for sure," Ellie grumbled, slowly extracting one of the tiny screws from the machine, "I'm gonna take it apart and take a look at it, see if I can figure it out."

"You could break it if you don't know what you're doing."

"Pfft," Ellie resumed her work, carefully extracting the second screw.

The girl reached over and placed a hand on Ellie's, the one wrapped around the screwdriver. Ellie froze. It was gentle and warm, and just a little bit too close to memory for comfort.

"Here. Let me," the girl said with a gentle, almost motherly tone. Ellie relented, handing her the Walkman, the screws, and the screwdriver.

"That Walkman was a gift to me. I hope you know what you're doing."

The girl just smiled at her warmly. She placed the Walkman's ear buds in her ears and pressed the play button. She contemplated for a moment before pressing other buttons on the Walkman, seeing how they would respond. Ellie already knew the answer, but she couldn't help but watch the girl as she worked through the problems. The girl popped the battery compartment open, frowned, and shut it. She then finished removing the screws Ellie had been working on earlier. She pulled the panel off and examined the inner workings of the Walkman closely. She then began to fiddle with the components and the wires.

Ellie watched the girl work intently. She watched her hands as the fingers deftly maneuvered in the interior of the Walkman. Ellie couldn't help but notice that the girl's face bent down in concentration looked cute, "What the hell, Ellie?" she thought, "You don't even know her," the girl continued her work, brushing some stray hair behind her ear. Ellie felt butterflies in her stomach. Suddenly, the girl placed the panel back onto the Walkman and replaced the screws. She then handed the Walkman back to Ellie.

"Here you go. Give it a shot."

Ellie placed the buds in her ear and placed her thumb on the play button. Moment of truth. She depressed the button and was immediately greeted with the soul music of Etta James. She thought she'd never hear that sound again. She smiled and looked at the girl, who just grinned back.

"How'd you do it?" Ellie removed the buds from her ears after pausing the tape.

"I like to do a lot of tinkering with stuff. I'm kind of a natural."

"Well…thanks. This means a lot to me," Ellie said, touching the Walkman lovingly.

"You're welcome, glad I could help," as the girl began to stand, Ellie realized she'd hadn't even learned her name yet.

"Wait! I didn't catch your name."

The girl smiled and extended her hand, "I'm Elizabeth. What's your name?"

"I'm Ellie," she said, reaching up and shaking it. The touch was warm and gentle again, and it made Ellie's heart flutter a little, but not enough for Elizabeth to notice, "Thanks for fixing my Walkman, Elizabeth."

"No problem, Ellie," she released Ellie's hand, "Glad I could help," she turned and walked away, Ellie watching her as she left.

Ellie gazed down at the Walkman, put the buds back in her ears, played the tape again, and clutched it to her chest, smiling.

* * *

Ellie lay on her bed, unable to sleep. She lay on her back, thoughts wandering like autumn leaves. The events that had sent her on her journey west were now a year past. She still wasn't sure what to think. Was Riley truly gone, or was she watching from above, somewhere? Was Tess there, too? Was Sam? Would they approve of her decision to stay in Jackson? Would they have wanted her to go back to the Fireflies.

She reached under her pillow and pulled out Riley's Firefly pendant. She brought it to her lips and kissed it. She pulled her Walkman out, placed the buds in her ears, and played the tape inside, the tape that had played during their first kiss.

She began to feel a familiar ache begin between her legs. She'd felt it in the mall near Chicago. She'd felt it a number of times when she was reminded of Riley and her caresses. Riley had taught her what it meant. She hated it. She hated that infernal need. She tossed and turned, trying to ignore it, but every time the cloth of her shorts brushed against her, she shuddered, the pleasure radiating throughout her body all the way to her extremities. No matter how hard she tried to blow it off, it wouldn't go away.

She had to relieve it. She pulled the buds out of her ear and gently put the Walkman back on her nightstand. She kept Riley's pendant clenched in her left hand as her right slowly snaked down her body. Her fingers found the waistband of her shorts and slid underneath the cloth, warming her bare skin just above the sensitive area.

She let out a gasp as the pad of her finger brushed against her nub. She pressed her finger against it and began to rub with a rigid hand. Slowly, she began to move her hand faster and faster. She felt the pleasure building, her hips beginning to roll into her hand. She began to imagine that it wasn't her hand, but Riley's, touching her where she wanted to be touched, giving her the release she needed. She imagined that Riley was above her, kissing her, loving her. She imagined Riley's lips above hers.

She whispered Riley's name as she slid two fingers inside. Her other hand clutched at her body and the covers, finding any place it could grab, the pendant still gripped in her palm. She quietly moaned as she got closer and closer to her climax. She imagined Riley panting above her, remembering Riley's hot breath, her gentle caresses, the loving things she whispered in her ear. Ellie shuddered as she felt the inevitable approach of her release. She arched her back, moaning as the waves of ecstasy washed over her.

As Ellie came down from her high, she opened her eyes and remembered. Riley was gone.

And she wasn't coming back.

Ellie began to weep quietly as she slowly went into a restless sleep, keeping Riley's pendant pressed against her heart.

* * *

A few mornings later, Ellie walked down to the kitchen of her and Joel's residence and opened a cabinet. She pulled out a can of beans when Joel's voice came from the living room.

"Ellie, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, Joel."

He sat in his armchair. She sat on the couch across from him, setting the beans by her side.

"I, uh," Joel began, scratching his beard and looking away, clearly nervous, "I heard you talkin' the other day. To that, uh, that Firefly pendant you got there."

Dammit. Ellie looked down at her feet, wringing her hands together. She didn't need this this morning. Thankfully, he gave her an out.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but you can talk to me if you need anything."

Ellie nodded, numb. Joel sat in silence for a moment before moving to stand up.

"Wait."

She'd said it before she could stop herself. He sat back down. Ellie clung to her own hands with such force that her knuckles were turning white.

"The girl I was with, when I was bitten? Riley? She wasn't just my best friend."

"I get that."

"We figured that out right before we got bitten. Her bite helped me figure out I was immune. She said we should go to the Fireflies. They'd know what to do. Then," Ellie paused, breathing out loudly, trying to keep her composure, "She pushed me away, locked herself behind a gate, and shot herself right in front of me. The worst part about it is that I didn't get the chance to tell her how I felt."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Ellie."

"It's...not something I like to talk about, but it felt wrong to not let you know."

Ellie continued to rub her hands in silence, staring at the floor. Joel remained respectfully quiet as Ellie resumed.

"When I went to stitch you up after your fall, I found some notes left around by some soldiers who crashed in a mall. I found a severed arm from one of them, and then I found the rest of him in a vent. A soldier got bit and his captain cut his arm off to save him. It worked, until he opened the cut and bled to death. Riley was bitten on her hand. I keep thinking that if...if Riley had cut her hand off, she'd still be here..."

"Ellie..." Joel walked over and sat down beside her.

Ellie pulled out Riley's Firefly pendant and showed it to him, "The first few days I'd met her, all she could talk about was joining the Fireflies. She did, eventually. The day we were bitten, she was supposed to be waiting with them to go to another city. She was willing to leave them and sneak across a city full of soldiers to spend one more evening with me. In the end, she left them. She did it for me. And it got her killed."

"It's not your fault, Ellie."

"I know."

She leaned her head on Joel's shoulder, tears beginning to form, "I miss her, Joel. I miss her so much."

Joel sat quietly as Ellie wept into his shoulder. Tears ran down her face, soaking into Joel's shirt. She made no sound save for the occasional sniffle. After what seemed like an hour, she wiped her face clear.

"If there's anythin' you want done, Ellie, I'll do what I can."

Ellie offered a half-hearted smile, "Listening's enough."

* * *

On a hill east of and overlooking Jackson, Wyoming, Ellie sat as the sun went down, fastening together two wooden planks. She took her knife and began carving letters into the wood. Once she was finished, she planted it into the ground. It was a cross that read, "Riley Abel, Beloved Friend and Firefly, Rest In Peace". Ellie sat cross legged, and looked at the makeshift headstone with a mixture of pride and sadness.

"Hey, Riley. I haven't talked to you in a while. I needed someplace private to do it. I found a good place here, in Jackson. The people here aren't soldiers in a quarantine zone. They're not Fireflies, either. They're just free. You would have loved it. I know you'd have called me sappy for this, but I put you up here for a reason. You can't deny the view."

She paced back and forth before continuing, "I went to the Fireflies. You were right. I was immune. Marlene said that whatever happened to me was the key to a vaccine. She sent me with Tess and Joel to leave the quarantine zone and get to the Fireflies' lab. We hadn't even left Boston when Tess got bitten. She bought us time to escape from soldiers. They shot her. Joel took me the rest of the way, but he got injured and I saved him.

"I did some horrible things. I wish I could take them back. I thought that maybe that getting to the Fireflies would be worth what you did for me. But that turned out to be a pipe dream. Joel says they stopped looking for a cure, that there's dozens of immune people out there. I don't believe him, but I can't go back, alone, to find out. I hope that staying alive is enough."

Ellie smiled mournfully, "Riley, I should have told you this right after I kissed you. I love you. I was afraid, afraid you wouldn't see me that way, afraid of what you might say. But after what we shared, I'm not afraid anymore. If you're still out there somewhere, I want you to know that I'll keep fighting to stay alive because of you. Goodbye, Riley. I'll always love you."

Ellie shifted her backpack, turned and stepped toward the setting sun, giving Riley's grave one last glance as she headed off toward Jackson.

* * *

**Here, we meet Elizabeth. We're going to learn more about her in the coming chapters.**

**When I originally wrote the latter half of this scene, Ellie was in bed talking to Riley's pendant out loud and Joel happened to be walking by when he heard it. Ellie said something to the effect of what she says at the end of her makeshift funeral. But upon re-reading it, I decided that a better way for her to finally confess her love for Riley was to say it after the funeral before saying goodbye. That being said, I still had the scene where Ellie lay in bed. I didn't really know what to do with it at first. But after some thinking, I realized Ellie still has romantic feelings for Riley, even though she's long gone. This turned into something I've heard dubbed 'crysturbation.'**

**As for why Ellie does the burial alone, I believe that, even though she was more open and curious than Joel was in _The Last of Us_, Ellie was reluctant to reveal Riley's demise, as Riley was someone whose death affected her deeply, and the fact that they were lovers makes it all that more personal. It wasn't the same as losing a daughter, but Joel never told Ellie about Sarah's death, either. Therefore, this burial is something Ellie feels like she has to do alone, even though just about everyone in the world created by Naughty Dog has lost someone important to them. **

_**I'd really like to post a shout out to the people who review. I'm really glad every time I read them and I wish more people would give feedback like you. No one can grow as a writer without feedback, and I really should review more often on this site so I'm not such a hypocrite. As for the follows and favorites, I really appreciate those as well! Thank you all so much for your continued support!**_

**Thank you for reading, and I shall see you at Chapter 12.**

**robertskycard**

**P.S. I'd have replied with a private message to one of my latest reviews, but, since it's anonymous, I'm just going to post it here. Sorry to burst your bubble, but Amanda is not going to be a love interest for Ellie. In my mind, she's little over twice Ellie's age, maybe about ten years Joel's junior. And though that doesn't necessarily dismiss her from that in this universe, I never really intended for her to be a partner/girlfriend. That being said, she will have a connection to Ellie, but more along the lines of a parental figure, like Joel but softer.**


	12. Chapter 12: Watch Tower (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry that this chapter is kind of short, I'm suffering from a little bit of writer's block. However, once this and the next chapter go online, I have the rest all written up and edited and all I have to do is upload and write the author's notes. Before this one, I did create a number of other fanfics, but they never got off the ground because I didn't have much of an idea as to where it would go. It was just an excuse to get beloved characters and/or OCs to mash privates together. Thank you for reading my first fully fleshed out work of fanfiction.**

**Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting. I hope you enjoy reading this almost as much as I have enjoyed writing it.**

* * *

Chapter 12: Watch Tower (Part 1)

Spring had slowly and uneventfully turned into summer, bringing with it a heat wave that seemed to slow time itself. Though shaded under the roof of the watch tower, Ellie couldn't help but wish that the wind was blowing. She missed early morning rains, the kind that were gentle and slow and that would bring worms to the surface and hungry birds with them. She missed the smell of it. She liked to be out in the rain, just letting the water soak her clothes until they were clinging to her skin. Joel had always warned her that it was dangerous because one might get hypothermia, but Ellie had always ignored him.

But now, summer was in full swing, the sun beating down from the cloudless sky. The early morning walks to the watch tower were fine, as the sun had barely risen over the horizon yet, but the mid-afternoon walks back were a literal trip through Hell. By then, the sun had had plenty of time to roast the pavement streets to a temperature that rivaled its own surface. If someone tripped and fell, they usually sprang right back up, hollering. And God forbid if you accidentally touch one of the old car husks. The searing metal was hot enough to cook a raw egg. At least, that's what Ellie thought. She'd never actually tried it, though she was sure it would work. Inside the houses didn't help either. The air conditioning worked. Kind of. When the plant was running, which was only sometimes. The heat seemed to permeate into every pore.

She scratched her bitten arm. Boston had never been this hot. Of course, in Boston she could wear short sleeves. Technically, she still could, seeing as everyone knew that she was immune, but she didn't like wearing short sleeves anymore. The deformed scar was just another reminder of-

"Whatchya got there?" Amanda asked, breaking Ellie's train of thought. Ellie suddenly realized she'd absentmindedly taken out Riley's pendant and was playing with it. She quickly returned it to the back pocket of her jeans.

"It's nothing. Just a…thing I keep around."

Amanda gave Ellie a quizzical look, but said nothing about it. After an uncomfortable silence, Amanda finally spoke again, "You know, this heat's nothing compared to where I'm from."

"Where are you from?"

"Arizona. I never saw snow until I moved up here with my dad. See, the sun got so hot that if you stood out in it for a few hours, it would suck all the moisture out of your skin until it started to crack, as well as give you a nasty sunburn. Craziest thing, though. When the sun went down, it was so cold you could see frost on the cacti."

"Holy shit, really?"

"Really. No snow though. You need a lot more moisture in the air for snow."

"Wait, you 'moved' up here? What does that mean?"

"Well, back before the whole infection thing, people used to buy and sell houses."

Ellie gave Amanda a perplexed look, "Why the hell would anyone do that?"

"Yeah, it's stupid, I know. Why would you pay to live on the planet? I bet it's really strange to you. But anyway, when you went to a new house, it was called 'moving'. But when I say we 'moved' up here, we were trying to go as far north as we could to get away from the infected. There were a whole bunch of people that thought that if we went north, come winter all the infected would freeze to death. It…" Amanda suddenly stopped speaking and looked down, breathing out, "it didn't work."

Ellie could tell that whatever happened was most likely personal. She didn't press the issue, even though her nagging curiosity begged her to. So she decided to try to steer the conversation somewhere else, "I hate not being able to wear short sleeves."

Amanda looked over at her, "Really? I think you still can."

Ellie rolled up her sleeve and showed Amanda the bite scar, "No I can't. Everyone'll stare at it. Some people still back away from me when I get too close," she rolled her sleeve back down and stared back out into the woods.

Amanda leaned closer, concerned, "Is this about Marcus and his buddies? I told you that if they -"

"It's not that, no. They're okay," Ellie became silent, her thoughts running wild. She didn't really want to complicate anything by explaining what was going on in her head. She didn't want anyone to know she was suddenly concerned about her arm. Well, that wasn't technically true. She was always concerned about her arm, usually in the vein of "Is someone going to shoot me because I look infected?" But now her concern was something different, almost a kind of vanity. She thought it looked unattractive. Ugly. Gross. A turn off. _A turn off? Turn off to _whom_? Where the fuck did _that_ come from?_ she thought.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine," she muttered, keeping her eyes straight forward. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I can tell when something's wrong. You can level with me."

To be completely honest, there were a number of things that were bothering her right now, all of them things that she didn't really want to share at the moment. Amanda, however was not going away. Ellie reached into her back pocket and pulled out Riley's pendant. It felt heavy, like it always did, the weight not coming from the material, but from what it represented.

"That's a Firefly pendant. Where did you get that?"

"This…this was a friend's. Riley. We were screwing around in a mall in Boston when we got bit. Together. She gave it to me just before…she…" Ellie sucked in a breath and blew out, trying to calm herself before saying it out loud, "she shot herself. Right in front of me."

Amanda rubbed her shoulder gently, "Oh, Ellie. I'm sorry."

"It's just…it won't go away. I just keep seeing her face," Ellie rolled up her sleeve again, "I can't look at this because every time I do… I see her. Standing there. With a gun to her head."

Amanda scooted her chair closer to Ellie and wrapped her in a comforting embrace. Ellie rested her head on Amanda's shoulder. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. The tears just wouldn't come. Amanda reached down and pulled out something from her own back pocket. It was a pair of dog tags.

"My dad used to be in the army," Amanda said somberly, "When I was little he was always 'going over'. He'd be gone for months at a time, and every day I'd sit out on the porch, wondering, 'Is daddy gonna come home with a medal or in a box?' One day, a truck pulled up with a couple of officers, and they told us he was going home forever. Mom and I were so happy until they told us why. He'd been driving his truck in Baghdad and ran over an IED. He lost his legs. I won't ever forget when I saw him roll up to the house in a wheel chair, only stumps where knees used to be. We had a couple of stairs in front of the porch and I felt so guilty that I couldn't help my mother lift him over those tiny steps. It was like that all the time after that, but he never stopped smiling. He kept telling me, 'Hey, don't worry, now I don't have to stand up all the time anymore.'

"Then, when I was sixteen, the cordyceps struck. We all piled in a car and headed north. We got to Colorado when winter was starting to set in. It got really cold. We and a bunch of other people made this little camp in the woods. One day, Mom went out to get firewood and just never came back. They found her later, frozen solid. Dad wasn't the same after that. He stopped smiling. All of the energy he used to have was just gone. He barely ate, he slept a lot. He just wasted away, slowly, no matter what I tried to do to help him. A few years later, I woke up one day and he was lying there, completely still. Peaceful. He just…woke up dead. He was gone. But you want to know the weirdest part? He was smiling.

"So that's what I choose to remember. Not him coming home with stumps instead of legs, not him looking at me with so much sadness that it made me cry, but him just smiling. Happy. It's not easy, but it helps."

Ellie tried it out, remembering the joy she felt dancing. The laughter they shared as they traded puns. Throwing bricks. Playing in the costume shop. It brought a smile to her lips.

"I guess it's not all bad, is it?"

"Nope. I'm here if you need me," Amanda said, squeezing Ellie tighter.

* * *

**Thank you for reading and I hope to see you at Chapter 13: Watch Tower (Part 2)**

**robertskycard**


	13. Chapter 13: Watch Tower (Part 2)

**Author's Note:**

**I completed writing this chapter Wednesday, early afternoon. I was very tempted to just post it that day. It's been agony to wait for Thursday night because I love that you all who read it love it so much.**

* * *

Chapter 13: Watch Tower (Part 2)

(Two Weeks Later, Middle of Summer, Jackson)

Ellie made her way to her assigned watch tower. She normally took watches with Amanda in the north tower, but today was an exception. Amanda was out on a supply raid in the woods. It had been a last minute change, as Marcus, who was slated for patrol duty, had been hanging out with his gang on a weak rooftop that, suddenly and to no surprise of anyone, collapsed. Thankfully, no one was hurt, save for Marcus, who'd twisted his ankle. Therefore, Amanda had to take his route and Ellie didn't get a chance to hear who Maria had replaced Amanda with. Ellie got to the ladder and climbed up. She sat down in one of the two lawn chairs, leaning her rifle against the corner of the tower. The other lawn chair was already occupied. Ellie jumped when she recognized who it was.

"Elizabeth?"

The other girl turned and smiled at her, "Hey, long time no see! Ellie, right?"

"Yeah."

"How's the Walkman working?"

"Like a charm."

"Good. I'm glad."

Elizabeth sat with her legs propped up on the edge of the watch tower, leaning back into her chair. Her posture reminded Ellie of stories both Joel and Amanda had told her of pre-infection summer evenings. Ellie didn't think she could ever relax like that. Then, Ellie noticed the position of Elizabeth's rifle. It sat in her lap, the barrel pointed directly at Ellie. And Elizabeth's hand was by the trigger.

"Hey!" Ellie barked. She winced. It came out a little too loudly than she'd planned.

Elizabeth looked over, concerned, "Yeah?"

"Don't point that at me," Ellie gestured to the rifle. Elizabeth looked down and her face paled.

"Oh, shit, sorry," She grabbed the barrel with her left hand and shifted the weapon so that it was pointing up, cradled against her shoulder. Ellie breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's okay. Just…be more careful."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to blow your head off."

"That would suck."

They spent most of the watch in silence. Ellie occasionally glanced over at Elizabeth, who didn't seem to have a care in the world other than keeping watch. Once, Elizabeth looked over and Ellie quickly looked away. She felt heat build up in her face. It wasn't because of the scorching sun, either. She wasn't sure why, though. It felt like it had been with Riley, sometimes, just stealing glances at her. _No, goddamit,_ Ellie admonished herself in her head. She pulled out her knife and flicked the blade open. She tended to do this out of habit, but this time she was doing it on purpose. She wanted to distract herself. She stared at the sharp point, the light glinting off the blade, masking the old blood stains on it.

"Whoa, is that a switchblade? Cool! I haven't seen one of those in forever!" Ellie looked up and saw Elizabeth leaning over, taking the weapon in with great interest. She paused for a moment before looking up at Ellie, a childlike glimmer of wonder in her eyes, "Can I hold it?"

Ellie reluctantly handed the switchblade over, not sure why she was handing Elizabeth another of her most prized possessions for the dark haired girl to tinker with. Elizabeth carefully examined it before pointing just below the blade, "You know how these things work?"

"You press a button and it pops out."

"No, I mean why does it do that?"

"I have no idea."

Elizabeth grinned, "I know why," she began to explain that Ellie's particular weapon was called a 'stiletto' and began to talk about the interior mechanics, as well as how it differed from other knives like it. Ellie already knew how it worked and just how deadly it actually was, but she said nothing. She liked hearing Elizabeth's excited babble. It made her smile.

"How did you get it?"

"Huh?" Ellie blinked. She suddenly realized that she hadn't been paying attention.

"How did you get it? It's kind of rare to find one of these, especially one that works."

"Oh. It was my mom's."

Elizabeth looked back down at Ellie's switchblade and opened her mouth to say something, but the sound suddenly died as her expression changed to one of shock. Ellie followed her eyes and saw that Elizabeth was staring at the blade, the blood stains now very apparent.

"There's blood on this," she said dumbly. Ellie saw the reality of what that meant sink into Elizabeth's mind as her face paled a little, "You've used this, haven't you?" her hands began to shake. It was just light tremors, but it was enough for Ellie to notice. _She's scared of me,_ Ellie thought. That was not good at all.

"Only when I had to," she assured Elizabeth as she reached over and gently took the switchblade back from Elizabeth.

"Oh. That's a relief," Elizabeth said, but her face didn't show any change of expression.

"Look, it's not like I ran up and stabbed a bunch of random people to death," Ellie put the blade back and put the knife away.

"I know. It's just…hard to fathom."

Ellie almost laughed, but caught herself. Jackson had been around for a while. Maybe Elizabeth had been in another settlement like it before having to move away. She clearly wasn't old enough to remember the world the way it was before. After all, she'd only ever been in real danger a couple of years ago when she and Riley had snuck out of the prep-school. Of course, that prep-school had been for the military and she knew how to kill years before she'd even met Riley. Elizabeth probably didn't have that kind of dark past, considering how nice she was. But you couldn't have survived this long without at least killing once.

"Infected bleed, too."

"I know," Elizabeth's voice was faint, and she seemed clearly distraught.

"What's wrong?"

Elizabeth took some time before answering, "Did you kill _people_ with it?"

Ellie wanted to say no. She wished that she could say no. She wished she could say that she never killed a single person. But that would be a lie. Nobody that ever lived in the past twenty years got away without killing someone. So she swallowed, loudly and tried to keep her voice from shaking, "Yes. I did. Only when I had to."

Elizabeth gave her a fearful look, but said nothing. Ellie looked over at her, "Don't tell me you haven't had to defend yourself."

Elizabeth's look became indecipherable, "We all do at some point, don't we?"

"I'm not saying I liked it. I didn't like it at all. But I can't take it back, even though I wish that I could."

Elizabeth sighed, "Yeah. Me too."

They took the rest of the watch in an oppressive silence. As the hours dragged on, Ellie tried her best to keep focused on the task at hand, which was making sure no infected or bandits lingered long outside the walls. This proved to be almost futile, as her mind kept jumping from thought to thought like a rabbit, turning her usual focus into a haze of questions with no clear answers. _Is she really as sheltered as she seems?_ The answer was probably no, but Ellie couldn't be sure. _She doesn't seem to have any relatives, what happened to them?_ _They're probably all dead_, she realized, and it pained her a little._ She is really pretty._ It wasn't a question. It wasn't even an observation. It was a fact. Ellie realized that all she'd thought about that afternoon was Elizabeth. In fact, a lot of her days in the past week had been spent thinking about Elizabeth, even though she'd barely seen the girl a few weeks ago. Ellie's eyes bugged.

_Oh,no. No no no. Shit. I have a crush on Elizabeth_.

This was not good. Not good at all. The droning haze of questions immediately stirred into a swarm, all angrily swirling around in her head like autumn leaves in a wind storm. She became aware of her heart beating in her chest. Ellie closed her eyes and breathed in and out loudly, trying to calm herself. Her hand reached into her back pocket and grabbed the pendant. Riley's pendant. An instant later, she began having a war with herself.

_Riley's gone, you can't just cling onto her forever,_ one side argued.

_But you barely know Elizabeth. You're just flinging yourself around,_ the other side reasoned.

_Riley wouldn't want you to be stuck on her like this._

_Riley was your first. You can't just throw that away._

_You're only hurting yourself by not moving on._

_You'd be insulting her memory if you moved on this quickly_.

That last one stung a little. In terms of overall time, yes it was quick, but it certainly didn't feel that quick. Her past year had been the longest, toughest year of her life, compounded by the fact that she relived the terrifying moments of the day every night in her sleep. It all had started out with a simple bite on her forearm. It hadn't ended since.

_This is fucking stupid,_ she thought, _I've got better things to worry about than this stupid crush_. _Like…like…_

Ellie didn't have better things to worry about right now. She groaned audibly and rolled her head back in her chair.

"Bored?" came Elizabeth's voice.

"Yes! So fucking bored!" Ellie latched onto it because explaining the truth would be both embarrassing and revealing.

"Me too."

As the clock neared the shift change, it seemed that time itself slowly began to stand still. Every second turned into two, then three. Ellie stood up and stretched a little before sitting back down. Her muscles were sore from being seated for hours. Feigned boredom had quickly become real boredom, and her mind amused itself by playing out 'what if' scenarios involving Elizabeth. After tiring itself from that game, her brain decided that another battle with itself was a great way to pass the last few minutes.

_You should ask her out._

_You barely know her. That's stupid._

_Come on, the worst she can say is 'no'._

_Yeah, or she could call you a fag or a freak. Maybe both._

_She's too nice to do that. _

_You don't know that._

The sound of someone climbing the ladder broke Ellie's train of thought. She looked over her shoulder, relieved to see Maria climbing up, followed quickly by Tommy.

"Hey girls," Tommy smiled, "How was watch?"

"Fine," they said in a tense unison. Ellie looked at Elizabeth, who looked back at her. They both smiled a little at the awkwardness of it.

"You ready for a break?" Maria said.

"Yes," they both replied. Ellie stifled a snort of laughter. Elizabeth didn't laugh, but she grinned.

"Okay, then, off you go rejoicing," Maria sidestepped the ladder and Ellie made her way down first, quickly followed by Elizabeth. They were three steps from the ladder, walking in tandem, when a thought popped into Ellie's head.

_Now's a good time to ask. You're both smiling. Go for it._

"Hey, would you like to go on a date with me?"

As soon as Ellie said it, she realized it was a mistake. She felt her face turn cold. Elizabeth seemed just as pale. It was too sudden. Too early. Too forward. Ellie heard a lawn chair scrape across wood. Maria and Tommy were leaning over to hear, exchanging a look between each other.

_Oh God._

She'd said it in front of them, too.

Without another word, Ellie bolted, wiping tears from her eyes, running as fast as she could, leaving Elizabeth behind to stare in bewilderment.

* * *

"Where's Joel? Where's Amanda?" Ellie grabbed Marcus by the shirt as he limped out of the infirmary on crutches.

"Jesus, Ellie, I don't know! I think Amanda's still out scavenging and Joel's probably fixing that roof that I broke."

As Ellie sped away, Marcus called after her, "My leg's fine, by the way, thanks for asking!"

* * *

Ellie saw Joel as he pounded away at an old, broken board with a hammer, "Damn nail," he muttered, "Gotcha," he wrenched a rusted nail out and put it into his shirt pocket. She ran up to him and tugged on his sleeve

"Joel, I gotta talk to you."

Joel looked down at her, "I'm a little busy, Ellie, why don't -" she knew he saw that she'd been crying. He put his hammer down and guided her over to sit on a stack of lumber, "Baby girl, what's wrong? What's goin' on?"

Ellie spilled the whole story with Elizabeth. All of it, starting with the Walkman and ending with Ellie's flight from the watch tower. She knew she was speaking quickly and frantically, as Joel asked her to slow down numerous times. The words flowed out of her mouth in a stream of conscious thought, private moments and embarrassing thoughts all spoken aloud in a jumble. Finally, her mouth just stopped working and she grabbed onto Joel, using him as a pillow to stifle her whimpers.

"I'm a fucking idiot!"

"Hey, now, that ain't true. Granted, it was stupid -"

"Joel!"

"-but that don't mean you're stupid, baby girl. We all make mistakes, and this one ain't so bad. Awkward, sure, but it ain't bad. It'll take some time, but it'll turn into somethin' you can laugh about later."

Ellie sniffled and pulled away, wiping her nose. Joel knew how to brighten her day, whether intentionally or not.

"It was kinda stupid, wasn't it?"

"I reckon so."

She gave him a smile and he smiled comfortingly back. It was very small, but just enough for Ellie to notice.

"Joel, I've got a question."

"Shoot."

"Will you sing for me?"

"Ellie…"

"Pleeease?" she clasped her hands in front of herself, "Pretty pleeease?"

Joel sighed, "You know, you're makin' me do this, right? Come on, let me get my guitar."

Ellie beamed.

* * *

**We haven't seen how Elizabeth will react yet, but don't worry. That's coming up.**

**Also, I'm eventually going to explore why Elizabeth is uncomfortable in the presence of blood, but that's for a later date and a later fic. Short answer is that she's been very sheltered. I know that that's almost impossible in this universe, but the people around her took a lot of drastic steps to try to 'keep her clean' as it were.**

**As for why Tommy and Maria have not shown up sooner, we see very little of them in _The Last of Us_ and it's kind of hard to write how they would speak and act with the little we see of them in the game as a reference guide. **

**I've noticed a number of fics where Joel sings for Ellie, and the song sung is usually something the author likes and, depending on the relationship between the characters established in the fic, the song can be romantic in nature. No matter what, though, I've never really liked what song was chosen, even if it fit, even if it worked well for the scene in question, even if it was well done. I've tried. Good Lord have I tried. But I just can't really think of a scene that would do justice to the relationship between Ellie and Joel while having Joel singing in it. As much as it would work really well for them positively, as heartwarming as it would be, I cannot imagine it. I just cannot.**

**Therefore, I'm leaving it out. Sorry about that.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and faves that have accumulated since this last week. I really enjoy the feedback and from what I can tell, you all enjoy reading it.**

**Thank you for reading and I shall see you at Chapter 14!**

**robertskycard**


	14. Chapter 14: Watch Tower (Part 3)

**Author's Note:**

**I sometimes feel like I'm skimping on chapter length, but I didn't feel that that was the case with this one. I took a long time writing this chapter and I hope that it shows.**

**Also, to those who are following, reviewing, favoriting, or just reading for the first time, I love you guys to death.**

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Chapter 14: Watch Tower (Part 3)

(One Week Later, Mid Summer, Jackson)

Ellie woke up, still drowsy from the previous night. Sunlight shone through her window, blinding her. She slowly roused herself from the bed, rubbing her groggy eyes. She gradually dressed in a haze and slipped her hair into her signature ponytail. She wandered to the bathroom across the hall and rubbed her eyes again in front of the mirror. She looked and felt like a zombie. After brushing her teeth, she shambled out of the bathroom, passed Joel's open door, and made her way down the steps toward the kitchen, where she heard the popping of grease in a pan.

She suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. She usually had to wake Joel up. His door was usually shut in the morning. Was she late? Probably not, the rising beams of dawning sunlight had woken her up. So why did it appear that Joel was up and around in the morning frying something? He never cooked breakfast. Usually she had to fend for herself. Something just didn't add up. As Ellie approached the kitchen, the smell of frying eggs wafted over her. Her mouth began to water, but she still proceeded with caution. She rounded the corner, prepared for anything, but what she beheld caught her by surprise.

"Hey, Ellie! I'm making breakfast. Go sit and I'll make up a plate for you."

Amanda stood in front of the stove, spatula in one hand, and a skillet in the other. Her hair was let out and looked slept on. Her ballcap was nowhere to be found. She was wearing only a shirt that looked way too big on her. Ellie abruptly remembered that the shirt was Joel's. She suddenly became aware of Joel's existence. He sat at the kitchen table, wearing a white t-shirt and his jeans, smiling as he dove into a plate of scrambled eggs. He looked about ten years younger.

"Mornin', Ellie!" he said in a rather jovial tone. It didn't take much thought for Ellie to put two and two together. She felt elated that the two of them had finally come together, and a little grossed out that they had sex the night before only a room from where she'd been sleeping. Ellie decided an appropriate punishment was to mess with their heads a little.

"Morning, guys. Have a lot of fun last night?" Ellie smirked as she sat down, knowing her comment would catch them off guard. Joel, in the middle of taking a drink form a glass of milk, almost spat the beverage all over the table.

Surprisingly, Amanda didn't even flinch. She just laughed as she flipped an egg with her spatula. She dumped the eggs on a plate and poured a glass of cold milk before setting them both on the table in front of Ellie. She quickly cooked her own breakfast and joined Ellie and Joel at the table.

"Jig's up, Joel," Amanda grinned as she rubbed his shoulder gently, a warm look in her eye. Ellie took a bite of the eggs. They were divine. She started shoveling them in her mouth. Amanda continued, "You might as well come clean. Oh wait, you're a man. You can't."

It was Ellie's turn to choke on her food, but Joel wasn't having an easier time either. Amanda's shit-eating grin suggested that their combined reaction was the intended effect.

When Joel could breathe again, he said, "We really shouldn't talk about this kinda stuff durin' breakfast."

Amanda chuckled, "I'm just teasing," she turned to Ellie, "How do you like your eggs, Ellie?"

Ellie nodded vigorously, mouth full of food. She swallowed before speaking, "They're great!"

"Good, I'm glad you like them," Amanda smiled. The three of them ate, or more accurately, devoured their food in silence for a few moments. Cooked eggs were extremely rare and the way Amanda had prepared them was perfect. Ellie finished her plate and was about to ask if seconds were a possibility when she remembered she had a watch tower shift at nine o'clock.

"Hey what time is it?"

"9:10, why?" Amanda said before casually placing a forkful of eggs in her mouth.

"Oh, SHIT! I'm late!" Ellie jumped up and ran toward the door. She yanked her pack off the hook in the wall and pulled her rifle out of the closet, "BreakfastwasgreatIgottagobye!" she called over her shoulder as she raced out of the house and bounded for the tower.

* * *

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"

Ellie came huffing and puffing to the gate watch tower. She heard Tommy's voice, as well as Maria's, _Shit, they're probably talking about me,_ she thought, _I'm in such deep shit._

She hoisted her rifle over her shoulder and limbed up the ladder as quickly as she could.

"It's strange, we haven't heard hide nor hair of them for a month," Tommy was saying as Ellie neared the top of the ladder.

"Don't get your hopes up, they'll be back," Maria said as Ellie reached the top and pulled herself up.

"I'm so sorry, guys! I'm so fucking sorry!" Elle leaned down and placed her hands on her knees, gulping in air.

Tommy and Maria exchanged a perplexed look, "Sorry for what, now?" Tommy asked, scratching his head.

"Being late for watch duty!" Ellie stood back up, still breathing hard.

Tommy looked at his watch, "It's eight twenty five, kiddo, you're way early."

"What?!" Ellie sputtered, "But Amanda said it was nine ten, like, ten minutes ago!"

"Amanda said that?" Maria asked, giving Tommy a confused look.

"Yeah, she was making breakfast at our place and when I asked her what time it was she said it was nine ten and…and…" The realization hit Ellie like a freight train, "Oh. Oh! Oh, that's fucking gross!"

The thought of Joel and Amanda having sex right after sending her out the door did not sit well with Ellie. True, she was happy for them, but the physical aspect of their new relationship still grossed her out. She noticed that Maria was looking at Tommy with a gleam in her eye and a grin slowly spreading across her face. Tommy looked back, his face furrowed into a frown.

"What?" he said as more of a statement than a question.

"Pay up," Maria extended her hand out toward him.

"I ain't payin'."

"Come on, Tommy, a deal's a deal."

Tommy groaned, reached into his pocket, and placed a handful of bullets into Maria's hand, "I guess I have the graveyard watch shift," he moped, "I was damn sure they'd have ended up at her place."

"You obviously don't know Amanda very well."

Tommy chuckled and shook his head, "Naw, I guess not. I should go get some rest, I've got a graveyard shift tonight," he tilted his head down in a curt farewell and then he climbed down the ladder. Maria smiled and shook her head.

"That man, sometimes, I swear. He's a really great guy, but sometimes he can be as dumb as a bag of hammers. That's why I love him so damn much," Maria smiled, watching him walk down the street back home. She turned back toward Ellie, "My watch ends when Elizabeth gets here, so if you want to stay and chat for a bit, that's much appreciated."

Ellie stiffened a little. She remembered her last watch with Elizabeth, how she had run home in tears. Ellie sat down in one of the chairs, unslinging her rifle and leaning it in the corner closest to her, "Okay. What do you want to talk about?" she hoped Maria would bring up something to help her forget.

Maria, however, noticed Ellie's darkening mood and realization revealed itself in her expression, "Oh, shit. I forgot about Elizabeth. Oh God, I'm sorry, Ellie."

"It's okay," Ellie said, "I'm over it," It was a half-truth. Ellie was 'over it' in the sense that she wasn't sore over what had transpired, but she still couldn't help but think of Elizabeth as attractive. It made her angry with herself. She also felt conflicted about Riley.

"Ellie, it's okay if you want to switch shifts. I can keep going for a few more hours," Maria said as she stifled a yawn.

"I'm fine, really."

"It's okay if you're not."

"Maria," Ellie said, leaning forward in her chair a little, "I can't spend the rest of my life here hiding from a little embarrassment. I've got to face her sooner or later, and the sooner I deal with it, the sooner everything gets better."

"Okay, then," Both of them sat back in silence for a few minutes. Maria suddenly perked up, "I almost forgot! Guess what day it is!"

"It's movie night, right?"

"Not just movie night. Theater night!"

"Theater night?"

"Theater night! You know the old movie theater at the edge of town? Well, the dam also keeps it powered. Houser figured out how to work the projectors and it turns out that they still work. They have reels of all the films that were showing before the outbreak. Cool, huh? We show them at the end of every month."

Ellie was smiling until she did the math in her head. She didn't know about theater night until today and she'd arrived almost three months ago, "Wait, why haven't I heard of theater night before?"

"Well, last time we set up for it, we had that bandit attack, remember? We didn't feel up to it while we were killing people and stitching up wounded for a week. The time before, I talked to Joel about it and he said you'd hate the movie we picked. But not this time."

"What do you mean, 'not this time'?"

Maria had a sly grin, "Once I tell you what movie's playing tonight, there's nothing that will stop you from watching it, so you have to promise me you'll finish your shift."

"Okay, I'll finish my shift. What's the movie?" Ellie was eager to know.

"Well, Houser found a reel for a movie that he hadn't known about before. Apparently, the movie he found is based off _someone's_ favorite comic book series. I think it's called -"

"_SAVAGE STARLIGHT_?!"

"I think that was the name," Maria tried to feign ignorance, but the gleam in her eyes suggested she'd picked the move specifically for Ellie's sake. Ellie jumped up and tackled her, hugging her tightly.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'm so fucking pumped up now! Thank you so much!" Ellie bounced up and down with glee and excitement, "This is gonna be awesome!"

Maria smiled, "It was Joel's idea, actually. You should thank him when you get to the theater."

"Oh, I will! I'll give him a huge hug!"

Ellie wanted to jump up and cheer. She'd seen the posters in cities all over, but she thought it was impossible. Now, not only was it possible, but she was going to watch it tonight. But then, she heard someone climbing the ladder, turned, and saw a shock of black hair. Her heart sank. Elizabeth's head poked up from below.

"Hey guys! I'm a little early. I hope you don't mind."

Maria answered as Ellie looked down, avoiding eye contact, "Not at all, we were just talking about theater night."

"_Savage Starlight_, right?" Elizabeth said as she got to her feet.

"Yeah," said Ellie, her sails deflating as the wind in them died.

"It's gonna be good. Theater night is always awesome."

Maria stood up, "Well, since both of you are here early, I'll excuse myself. See you at the theater," she climbed down the ladder and Ellie was alone with Elizabeth, who sat down in Maria's empty seat, holding her rifle in her lap.

Ellie sat down, too, turning her gaze toward the outside. Nothing out of the ordinary. She'd hoped to see something, maybe an animal, just to call Elizabeth's attention to it so Ellie could get the dark haired girl to look away from her. Elizabeth's voice made her look back.

"It's been a couple of months since you came here with Joel. How do you like Jackson so far?"

"It's good."

"That's it?"

Ellie shrugged, "I don't know. I just don't know if it's a good idea to settle down in one place."

"Oh."

Ellie could sense that Elizabeth was trying to make small talk to avoid their previous encounter. Ellie, although she didn't want to confront what had happened either, knew it would come out eventually and that it might as well come out sooner rather than later. But first, she wanted to let Elizabeth try to work her way toward it.

"So…" Elizabeth appeared to be searching for something, but the words wouldn't come. Dammit. Ellie knew she had to take action.

"It's alright."

"Huh?"

"About what happened last time we had watch together. I'm over it."

"What are you…oh. Yeah. That."

"It's okay, Elizabeth, really. You like guys and I like girls. It's really that simple. I'm okay with that," Ellie had spent a lot of time thinking about what had transpired. She remembered that almost all the girls in the prep-school back home had talked about boys and dating when they weren't complaining about the drill instructors like everyone else. Ellie never really understood it, but now she did. They weren't like her and Riley. Elizabeth was probably not like her, either.

Elizabeth's expression was inscrutable. She seemed to be deep in heavy thought. When she finally spoke, Ellie jumped a little.

"I didn't say 'no.'"

"What?"

"I didn't say 'no,' and if I did, it wouldn't be for the reason you said. I don't know much about you. And I bet you don't know much about me, either. So why would I suddenly go on a date with you in a spur of the moment thing? I mean, we should get to know each other a little bit first, right?"

Her words shocked Ellie. Ellie had been surviving alongside Joel for almost a year, and she barely knew anything about him even now. It never occurred to her that maybe the lack of knowledge of each other was a contributing factor. Elizabeth continued, "You seem like a great girl to be around, but I only know you as 'Ellie, the immune kid who just showed up and has a Walkman and switchblade'. And I'm sure I'm still a great mystery to you. So how about we just, you know, get to know each other a little better and see how things play out?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"How we ask just questions back and forth?"

"Okay," Ellie sighed. She liked talking with Elizabeth, but she was afraid of what the other girl would ask her, "What do you want to know?"

"Let's start with something simple. How old are you?"

Simple enough, "Fifteen, as of last week. How old are you?"

"Sixteen," Elizabeth pondered in silence for a few moments, searching for a question. Her face brightened when she found it, "Who taught you how to shoot a rifle?"

"Joel taught me how to operate the rifle, but the accuracy's self-taught."

"Oh," When Ellie didn't say anything for a moment, Elizabeth spoke, "It's your turn."

"I'm thinking," Ellie ran a few through her head and finally found one she wanted, "Do you read comics?"

"Comics?"

"Yeah, comics."

"I haven't really, but I read a lot of books and stuff. Well, except for _Savage Starlight_."

"You've got great taste in comics," Ellie grinned as she playfully smacked Elizabeth's arm.

"Shut up."

"I'm serious. _Savage Starlight_ is fucking awesome. Okay, your turn."

"Uh," Elizabeth puzzled over it. Her next question hit Ellie hard, "How did you know you were immune?" This direct approach was just like Riley had been. Apparently, Ellie had made a face, because Elizabeth immediately moved to redact her question, "Oh, shit. I shouldn't have asked that. How about I…"

Ellie stopped her, "It's okay. I'll answer the question."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to," she didn't really, but she didn't want to be awkward around Elizabeth anymore. It was better to be honest than to hide, "I was bitten in a mall in Boston. My friend, Riley, was with me and she got bitten, too. We decided to wait it out. She started showing signs. It got worse and worse. She didn't want to hurt me so she locked me away and…stopped herself from turning."

"You mean she…"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Both girls were silent. Elizabeth was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry about your friend."

"She wasn't just my friend."

"Huh?"

"I said she wasn't just my friend. I kissed her right before we got bitten. After that happened, we wanted to spend every second we had left with each other. One thing led to another and… we ended up in a bed together, just exploring like we always did with something new. It… was our first time. Our only time." Ellie couldn't believe she was admitting this to Elizabeth. She hadn't even told Joel this particular story. Ellie felt tears threatening to break free. Elizabeth watched her in rapt attention, silent as a grave.

"After that you know the rest."

"I'm so sorry, Ellie," Elizabeth looked away, almost in tears herself, "Look, if you don't want to talk anymore, I understand."

"It's alright."

Elizabeth was silent for a few moments, then Ellie spoke, "Have you lost anyone?"

"I…" Elizabeth stared at the floor for a moment before looking back at Ellie, "Yes. My dad. We were walking through the woods when a guy came at us with a gun. Dad grabbed a hold of me, there was a shot, and he was dead before we hit the ground. The guy thought he'd shot both of us and started walking away. I shot him in the back."

"I'm sorry about your dad, Elizabeth."

"Thanks," Elizabeth said weakly.

They sat silent again for maybe an hour, before Elizabeth asked her another question, "Where are you from?"

Ellie couldn't remember. She'd been shipped from QZ to QZ ever since she was little. She decided to go with what she thought was the best answer, "Boston. Where are you from?"

"Los Angeles."

"Shut up!"

"I'm serious."

Ellie leaned back in her chair, "Riley kept saying that when the infection blew over, things would go back to the way they were before I was born. We joked that if we saved up enough pennies, we'd get the jump on vacation and go surfing in L.A."

Elizabeth smiled, "Well, the shore's still there."

"Yeah, but I can't swim."

Elizabeth pondered for a moment, "I could teach you."

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah, if you want."

"I…" Ellie was conflicted. She wanted to see where this would lead, yet she didn't want to disappoint Joel, "I'd love to, but…"

"But…what?"

"But I already promised Joel that he'd teach me how to swim."

"Oh. Well, that's okay."

"Yeah," Ellie muttered, slightly disappointed. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head, "Do you know how to play chess?"

"Yeah, do you?"

"Nope."

Elizabeth grinned, "How about I teach you how to play chess?"

"I'd…I'd like that," Ellie's smile was sheepish, "Thanks. Let's keep watch."

"Yeah."

They sat silently, keeping a vigilant watch. Ellie would occasionally glance over at Elizabeth, who kept her eyes out toward the forest. Yet, every once in a while, Ellie would catch her looking back. Elizabeth would quickly turn her gaze, but Ellie noticed that she would ever so slightly blush. Ellie looked over and her eyes met Elizabeth's. Ellie thought for sure that Elizabeth would break away, yet she didn't. There was something in her eyes. It was -.

_BANG!_

Ellie saw red.

* * *

**Troy Baker once talked about how Neil Druckman wouldn't send a script out until it was difficult to push the button. Not because it was bad, but because he wasn't sure how people would react. Unfortunately for me, I agree with this particular sentiment and it saddens me that only a small number of my chapters so far have made me conflicted, those chapters being 2, 6, and 11. Due to the feedback I have received thus far, however, I'm starting to get a little nervous for what I have planned, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.**

**Thank you for reading and I hope to see you at Chapter 15!**

**robertskycard**

**P.S. There is a wonderful piece of The Last of Us fan art that I found rather compelling. It served as part of the inspiration for this fic. I have a link to it on my author profile.**


	15. Chapter 15: Watch Tower (Finale)

**Author's Note:**

**So, _I'm Not Letting You Go_ has over 6,000 views! Holy. Cow. That's probably the most views I've ever had for anything I've ever posted on the internet. To be fair, I spend most of my time consuming on the internet, not producing, but I would really like to thank all of you who read this. I know I say it every chapter, but I mean it every time.**

**I have a rough estimate of how many words the whole fic has. It's about 50,000 (or 50.000 in Europe), meaning about twenty or so chapters.**

**So, without further ado, I present Chapter 15.  
**

* * *

Chapter 15: Watch Tower (Finale)

Ellie saw a big spray of blood. Elizabeth fell to the floor, clutching her right arm. Ellie dove for cover against the wooden wall of the watch tower. Elizabeth scrambled over and pinned herself against the wall beside Ellie, who'd snatched her rifle up.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I'm fine."

Ellie looked down and saw that Elizabeth was pressing her hand against her arm right under the shoulder, blood dribbling between her fingers and down her arm.

"You're hit. Let me look."

Elizabeth pulled her hand away. The bullet had grazed her, but it was enough to cause a lot of bleeding.

"Keep pressure on it."

Ellie grabbed her pack and pulled out a bandage. She pulled Elizabeth's hand away and wrapped it around the arm, staunching the bleeding.

"Okay, you're good."

"Ellie, what are we gonna do?"

Ellie cyphered for options. If either of them stuck their heads out, the most likely outcome would be getting shot. Whoever had shot at them had barely missed, but not on purpose. But now he wouldn't miss, so whatever she did would have to take him out before he could get a shot off. She needed to see where he was, but there was no way to do that without getting killed unless…

"Elizabeth, do you have a mirror?"

"What?"

"I need to know where that fucker is so if one of us pops out we can get him before he can blow one of our heads off. Do you have a mirror or something reflective like that?"

Elizabeth looked around then grabbed her pack, "Here!" she pulled out a handheld mirror and handed it to Ellie. She snatched it up and slowly poked it over the wall, watching for movement in the trees through the mirror. It seemed as if the shooter had disappeared when she saw something glint in the trees. It was a rifle scope. The shooter was poking out from behind a tree at a considerable distance away. It was going to be a tough shot. But hopefully Elizabeth would be able to use the mirror to keep an eye on the guy if Ellie missed and he changed cover.

_BANG!_

She saw the muzzle flash in the mirror a split second before the mirror exploded in her hand, sending shards of glass and plastic everywhere.

"Son of a bitch!" Ellie hissed.

"Did you see him?"

"Yeah."

"Can we get him?"

"Maybe. Fucker's got us pinned."

Elizabeth put her head against the wall, "What are we gonna do now?"

Ellie pondered for a moment, but then an idea popped in her head, "Elizabeth, grab your pack."

Elizabeth's face filled with hope as she grabbed her pack, "What do you have planned?"

"You're gonna stick it over the wall. When he shoots it, I'll pop up and shoot him."

Elizabeth looked over at her, "That's really dangerous, Ellie. He could kill you!"

"What other choice do we have?"

The dark haired girl sighed, "Be careful."

"I will."

Elizabeth dumped the contents of her pack onto the wood floor and zipped it up. Ellie positioned herself with her rifle tip resting against the top of the wall, ready to take action. They looked at each other. Ellie nodded. Elizabeth stuck the backpack over her head.

_BANG!_

A bullet tore through the pack as Ellie sprung up.

The man stood, pulling the bolt back on his rifle, fumbling for a round.

Ellie lined him up in her sights.

He found the round and placed it in his rifle.

She saw the trees blowing to the left.

He put the bolt back into position.

She pulled to the right a little.

He drew his rifle up, pointing it at her.

Ellie squeezed the trigger.

_BANG!_

The man jerked back, blood spattering against the tree and out from his chest in a cloud. He fell on his back. Ellie snapped the bolt back on her rifle and put in a new cartridge. She kept her gun trained on him, waiting for him to get back up. He laid still, blood pooling under him, soaking the ground. She lowered her rifle and blew out a sigh of relief.

"It's clear."

Elizabeth stood up and both girls stared into the now silent forest.

"Did you get him?"

Ellie pointed to the corpse, "What an asshole. Shooting a backpack? That's just -"

Elizabeth seized Ellie in a spontaneous embrace, "Holy crap, that was scary!" she said.

Ellie awkwardly hugged her back, "Yeah, it was. Sorry about your backpack."

Elizabeth broke away and smiled broadly, "It's totally fine. It adds character."

Both girls laughed with relief.

"Ellie! Elizabeth!" Amanda, fully clothed and wearing her distinctive ballcap, shouted as she ran toward the tower, rifle in hand, followed closely by Joel, armed with a shotgun "We heard gunshots! Are you two alright?"

"Elizabeth got winged, but we're fine! Some asshole tried to kill us!"

Amanda and Joel climbed up and saw the corpse of the man Ellie shot, "Is that the guy?" Amanda gestured to the body in the woods.

"Yeah! We got pinned down," Elizabeth said, beaming "but Ellie came up with a plan and she nailed him!"

Joel turned to Ellie, "Is that right?"

Ellie nodded. Amanda smiled and patted her head, "Nice shot, Ellie."

Joel patted her on the back, "We'll take watch from here."

"I've got it, Joel," Ellie said, suddenly defensive. She was capable, she didn't need to be treated like a kid.

"No, Ellie, I mean that you've got wounded here. You should take her to Doc, get that wound cleaned up."

"It's not that bad," Elizabeth tried to protest, but Joel held up his hand.

"No excuses. It's theater night, remember? I want you two there in one piece."

Ellie grinned and hugged Joel, hard.

* * *

"Why did they make her like that?"

"I know, right?"

"Daniela is _so _much more badass in the comics! I mean, come on! James Ryan was _not_ the main character!"

"It's like they swapped them out!"

"And _don't _get me started on the Travelers!" Ellie sounded angry, but she was grateful that Joel and the town had arranged for that movie to play. It wasn't their fault that the comics were better. Which is why she was having this conversation with Elizabeth behind the community as they exited, talking excitedly. Most of the others talked about the special effects and how nice it was to watch a movie like before. The two girls, however, had, after their initial amazement, taken the movie in stride and were now discussing the discrepancies between the movie and the comics from which it originated. _Well, 'discussing' is a mild term for it,_ Ellie thought as she continued her passionate debate with Elizabeth.

"The thing that really gets me was the Zero Point Jump System. It was carefully explained in Issue One! How did they get…well… _that_ out of it? It's almost as if they didn't read the freaking comics!" Elizabeth shook her hands beside her head.

"That would explain a lot." Ellie shared a look with Elizabeth and they both began to giggle uncontrollably.

"How many volumes do you have?" Ellie asked after regaining control of her breathing.

"I'm missing the last one, I think."

Ellie grinned, "I've got it in my room! Let me go get it!"

"How about we both go? Let's flip through them all and see what the movie left out!"

Ellie thought that her face would split in two, "Race you to my place?"

Elizabeth responded with a sly smile. She bolted and Ellie pursued her, only a foot or so behind. Ellie felt laugher bubble up as she chased Elizabeth. It had been so long since she'd last laughed, truly laughed. Elizabeth got to the front door first, but only by a second. Both girls were breathing really hard, laughing and smiling. Elizabeth's laugh was music to Ellie's ears.

"I thought you were fast!" Elizabeth panted.

"I _am_ fast! I almost had you!" Ellie lightly punched Elizabeth's arm.

"Hey, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!"

"What does that mean?"

Elizabeth shrugged, "I don't know. I've just heard Tommy say it a lot."

Ellie shook her head as she grabbed the door handle. She twisted, but was met with resistance, "Oh dammit."

"What?"

"I forgot that we locked it. Joel's got the key."

Sighing loudly and dramatically, Ellie leaned against the door, "Ugh, I hate locked doors! You know, Joel taught me a trick to force locks, but I don't have a broken piece of metal."

Elizabeth smiled, "I've got a better idea," she pulled out a paperclip and began to work with the metal. She knelt down, inserted the paper clip into the lock, and a moment later there was a click and the door swung open.

"How did you do that?" Ellie was amazed. Even Riley hadn't taught her that particular trick. Elizabeth stood up and shrugged.

"I told you, I like tinkering with stuff. I learned how to pick locks a long time ago. It's pretty useful, but sometimes the knobs are rusted through or they're boarded up on the other side. Bobby pins are better, but a paperclip will do just fine in a pinch."

"Good to know. I guess it's kinda pointless to lock the doors when we go out, huh?" Ellie nudged Elizabeth with her elbow as they entered the house.

"Hey, I won't steal all of your comics, if that's what you're thinking."

"I'm more worried about the TV. It doesn't work at all, but if you took it, you'd get it to play _Savage Starlight_."

"TVs are a different animal from Walkmans and locks."

"I thought they were a different appliance," Ellie cocked her eyebrow and tried her best to keep a serious face. Elizabeth looked back over to her, grinned, and nudged her back.

"You know what I mean. Let's go look through your collection, shall we?"

"They're this way."

Moments later they sat on Ellie's bed, the comic collection that had been neatly stacked beneath the night stand splayed out all over the raggedy covers in no particular order. Ellie sat beside Elizabeth, both girls pointing, laughing, jostling each other, and speaking loudly with excitement as they went through each volume. However, when they got to the last one, both became quiet. Ellie remembered the circumstances surrounding her discovery of _Singularity_. It wasn't particularly pleasant. As for Elizabeth, Ellie wasn't sure why she was suddenly so quiet, but thought better than to ask.

"My dad collected them all for me. All but this one," Elizabeth's voice was so quiet, Ellie almost didn't hear it. She looked over and saw that Elizabeth had tears slowly falling down her cheeks. Ellie put her hand on Elizabeth's, squeezing it for comfort. She didn't know why she did it, but she felt that Elizabeth needed it.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth said nothing, only wiping her tears away with her free hand. Ellie reached over and opened the comic book. They both read in silence. After they finished reading it through, Elizabeth closed the book. She reached over and gave Ellie a hug.

"Thanks, Ellie. That meant a lot to me."

"It's okay," Ellie said, squeezing her tighter. She didn't want to let go. Elizabeth pulled away almost reluctantly, standing up from the bed and straightening herself out.

"I better get going. It's pretty late," she said as she went to the door. She turned around and smiled sadly at Ellie, "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

**The first half of this chapter was intended to be kind of a parallel to Ellie and Riley's relationship development in Issue 3 of _The Last of Us: American Dreams._ Two people, potential romantic interests, come out of a dangerous situation relatively unscathed and end up closer as a result.**

** The latter half was originally developed from a humorous idea that I had when I read some _The Last of Us_ fics where Ellie watched a movie. Like when Joel sings to Ellie, almost every movie chosen by the authors of the fics I read were movies that the authors liked, even if they were classics. Unlike with the song, however, I had an excellent idea of what she should see. I wanted to have a movie that Ellie would probably have wanted to see had she grown up in the world that the previous generation grew up in only to be disappointed with what Hollywood did with it. However, I didn't want Ellie to seem ungrateful either, and I don't think she would be. How could she, when she's never seen a movie before, let alone a movie based off her favorite comic series? So instead of venting her grievances to a father figure who would misunderstand her passion as a dislike of the gift, she does it instead with her new friend who shares her interest and her passion for accuracy. **

**Thank you for reading and I will see you at Chapter 16.**

**robertskycard**


	16. Chapter 16: Ultimatum

**Author's Note:**

**I don't think I'm good at romance. I try my best, but I have little if any experience reading, watching, or writing romance. I don't have much experience in my life with healthy romantic relationships, unfortunately. Also, I'm often easily distracted and I end up publishing shorter chapters even if I intended to create longer, more expository ones. I dislike it just as much as you do, and I know it holds me back.**

**I apologize in advance for the length of this chapter. Just letting you know right now that the next chapter's going to be a bit longer.**

* * *

Chapter 16: Ultimatum

Summer had transitioned to autumn, and with it began cold rains that never seemed to end, even if it went back to light sprinkles. The sun had been absent for days. However, the past month had been brilliant for Ellie. She had started spending more time with Elizabeth and the two became inseparable friends. Though Ellie wasn't sure she wanted to go beyond that, Elizabeth seemed quite content to go wherever Ellie took it. Around Jackson, it seemed that one would almost never be seen without the other unless Maria had to separate them because of their duties. Because of this, Ellie now sat in the mess hall across from Amanda, hungrily devouring her food as the older woman watched her intently.

"So, Ellie," Amanda said with a knowing smile, patting her head, "How's it going?"

"How's it going with what?" Ellie said, feigning ignorance. Amanda nudged her tray with her own.

"You know what. How's it going with Elizabeth?"

"It's going fine," Ellie shrugged as she shoved a piece of potato into her mouth with a fork.

"Oh, come on," Amanda leaned forward seriously, "Give me the deets."

Ellie cocked an eyebrow, "'The deets?'"

Amanda broke into a smile again, "Yeah, the deets! You know what the deets are, right?"

"Please stop saying 'deets'."

"Well, then give me some details."

Ellie sighed, giving up, "She's really nice, we hang out a lot, and we've got a lot in common, but…"

"But?"

"I…just…I don't know. I feel like…I think she might want more, but I don't know if I can do it, or if I should do it."

"Well, what do _you_ want, Ellie?"

"I…" that was a complicated question. Ellie wasn't really sure what she wanted. She liked Elizabeth a lot, true. In fact she had a crush on her, and it seemed that perhaps the feeling was mutual. But Ellie was also afraid, afraid that she might get rejected, afraid that she might be hurt. But the worst was that she was afraid that something bad would happen to Elizabeth. Ellie knew she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if someone else was hurt because of her, if someone else died because of her, especially someone she cared about. And then she would be alone.

Ellie's answer, though dishonest, was a simple, "I don't know."

Amanda crossed her arms and cocked her eyebrow, "Really?" it was more of a statement than a question, her tone indicating disbelief. Her look became unreadable. She spoke, "You're doing it again."

"What?" Ellie was startled back into the real world.

"Every time you're really nervous about something, you pull out that pendant and you start rubbing it."

Ellie, looked down, saw the pendant in her hand, silently cursed Amanda's astuteness, and returned the pendant to her back pocket, "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't be. I used to chew on my shirts," Amanda crossed her arms behind her head, "I'll tell you what. I'll give you an ultimatum. I'm going out on a scavenging raid for a few hours. I'm betting Elizabeth's watch shift ends before my patrol does. Before I come back I want you to at least try to ask that girl out. And don't chicken out with some 'let's hang out' bull. Ask her on a real date."

"If I do ask her, what are we gonna do? It's not like I have many options and I've never done a date before!"

"I'll help you with that if you want. Besides, it's theater night this weekend. You could do dinner and a movie."

"Eating twenty-year-old canned beans in the mess hall right before a blockbuster isn't very romantic, Amanda."

"Like I said, I'd help out with that, and there's more than one projector in the movie theater. I bet there's something you'd both like to see and we could give you two some privacy."

"Okay, but what if I chicken out?"

Amanda's look was deadly, "I will make sure you're scrubbing the watch tower latrines until you're thirty. Don't think I won't get Maria to make it happen."

Ellie wasn't entirely sure whether she was serious or not, but it was safer to err on the side of caution, she decided, "Okay, fine. I'll ask her out."

Amanda slammed her hands together, "Great! When I get back, we'll begin planning," she stood up, "I gotta go, Ellie. I'll see you when I get back," she left with her tray. Ellie rubbed the sides of her head. The very thought of it made her extremely nervous.

_How am I gonna ask her this time?_

* * *

An hour later, Ellie was pacing between her room and the bathroom, occasionally stopping in front of the mirror to act out her question. Every time she did so, she was disappointed by her delivery, or a word she said out of place, or her expression. She would sigh angrily or swear and begin rehearsing anew, changing the order of words, her expression, or just her vocal inflections. Whatever the reason, every attempt in the mirror just did not look or sound right.

"Ugh!" Ellie ran her hands through her hair, frustrated, "How the fuck am I gonna do this?" she sat down on the edge of her bed and flopped down onto her back, placing her hands on her face. She kicked her legs back and forth as they dangled from the edge of the bed. She tried to think. Should she be flirty? Cute? Demanding? No.

_How about just be yourself? Just wing it. None of this practice, putting-on-a-show bullshit, just go and fucking ask her out. You already did it once._

Ellie sat up on the bed. That made sense. She knew what she had to do. She checked the clock. _Elizabeth should be getting off in ten minutes_. Beaming, she made her way downstairs and grabbed her pack off the hook on the wall. She made for the door when it opened. It was Joel.

"Hey, Ellie!" he said cheerfully, "You headin' out?"

"Yeah, I'm just gonna head over to one of the south tower."

"Well, tell Elizabeth 'hi' for me."

Ellie stepped out of the way, letting Joel in before making for the door. Suddenly, Joel's radio crackled.

"Joel! Get your ass over to the main gate!" Tommy's voice sounded urgent.

Joel angrily snatched the radio from his belt, "What's the hurry, Tommy?" he grumbled.

"There's a bunch of people, just showed up lookin' for you. Said they know you from somewhere out east. These people seem pissed, Joel, and they look like they mean business."

Ellie was confused, and Joel appeared to be the same. He spoke into the radio, "Hold your horses, I'll be right there in a minute."

"Please hurry," was Tommy's response.

"I'm coming with you," Ellie said as Joel put his radio back onto his belt.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"I wasn't asking."

Joel just shrugged as the two of them came out the front door then made their way toward the front gates. Joel climbed up the ladder to the watch tower first, with Ellie right behind him. When Joel reached the top, he stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide and his face pale.

"Jesus Christ."

"What?" Ellie reached the top too. Then she saw him. The blonde hair. The blue eyes. The neat, red beard. The army uniform.

It was the soldier.

With thirty armed men behind him.

* * *

**In a high-school creative writing class, my teacher wrote a number of quotes on the board from famous authors. This was one of them.**

**"Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there." - Anton Chekhov**

**Chekhov's Gun. I try write according to this principle. I'm not sure if I do it well or not. However, every character, every person, every thing I put into a story is meant to move forward either the character development or the plot. In the story so far, it seemed as if Joel and Ellie's detour into Chicago seemed to be just that. A detour. Something insignificant and altogether unimportant to Ellie's development as a character. Even though I always intended for the soldier to make a second appearance, I've only just realized, too late, that I have ignored him in favor of Ellie's developing relationships inside Jackson and the development of Elizabeth and Amanda. **

**Just please don't lynch me for what I'm about to do. It was hard to write emotionally.**

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting! I hope to see you Chapter 17!**

**robertskycard**


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